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[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]If you don't mind, it doesn't matter... and I know that I'm not the only guy who figured this out. If you asked me or could have asked him if we loved each other, we'd both say that we didn't although we did have a grudging respect for each other and that was really along the lines of knowing that if it came to it, we could take each other out - permanently... and it didn't have shit to do with having sex with each other, well, as far as I've been able to figure out, anyway. We didn't always try to off each other whenever we saw each other but it was pretty easy for us to push each others buttons because, being brothers, we knew where all the buttons were. We didn't always agree on stuff and, at the least, we'd argue about whatever we disagreed on.

And then he'd ask, "Hey... you wanna do it?" and I'd say, "Sure - why not?" and no matter how pissed off we were with each other before the question was asked. Sometimes, I wouldn't see or hear from him for months at a time - which was fine with me and probably him, too. But when he'd show up at my door, I knew he wasn't just stopping by just to say hi and I remember asking him about that one day; did he drop by to say hi and find out how I was doing... or was he stopping by so we can fuck?

He laughed and said, "What do you think?" And then we were naked and doing what we always did. Suck each other off. Take a break. Fuck each other and if time allowed, take a break and do it all over again. Nothing unusual going on here.

Just nature doing what nature has always done and continues to do.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3] Did we know better? Yes - no question about that and even as I write this, I remain very mindful of the sin we both agreed to commit with each other and even when I was very reluctant to do it in the first place. The hard part for me was to be able to admit to myself that I just flat out loved having sex with him - we were very good with each other and despite our animosity. We both had been having sex with other guys and we both agreed that while it was good - or sometimes not so good - when we did it - and no matter why we would - it was always good.

I'd often think that brothers bond with each other... just not always in the way they're expected to and certainly not the way we learned to bond with each other. It never failed to amaze me how we could have such great contempt for each other and with deadly intent... unless we were screwing each other silly. Only then could we put our differences aside and it didn't make sense and it still doesn't.

It just was what it was. People who know about this would be disgusted and all that and my reaction to their disgust would be just to shrug; right or wrong, you still can't change what has already happened. We did it and probably way past what would be considered to be acceptable. And it wasn't that we were "enemy lovers" so much as it really drove home a lot of truths that most people just do not want to know about. Did I question the state of my moral compass? I did. A lot. I still do. But I understand sex and that the only limits in place are the ones we - society - put in place and it's an inescapable truth. Guys screw each other... and brothers are no exception in this and, really, neither is anyone who is of a mind to have sex in this way.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]We both laid there, joined together, gasping and all that - and then he punched me dead in the face!

"Didn't want you to forget that I'm still mad at you," he said - and just before I punched him right back - things had gotten back to normal between us and now we're right back to fighting which is how all of this moment got started. I never figured out why he'd want to fight me. Oh, he could fight like a demon... but I was bigger, stronger, and trained in the martial arts as well as being able to fight in the streets. It didn't take me long to pin him face down and in a very painful arm and shoulder lock and I was really putting the pressure on and letting him know that I could break him any time I wanted to.

And it didn't escape either of us that my dick was once again very hard and all he said was, "You know where to put that, right?"

Of course I did and as we'd done so many times before, we both gasped as my dick easily and familiarly slid into him. "Maybe this is why we fight... so we can 'kiss and make up' like this?" I had said once I had all eight inches of dick in him.

"Probably," he said, his voice all dreamy. "Shut the fuck up and fuck me already..."[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]One day and when he was slowly shoving his dick in and out of my ass, he leaned forward enough to whisper in my ear, "Have you ever thought about how wrong it is for us to be doing this?"

Strange question to ask while we were doing it, huh?

"I think about it all of the time," I said. "I just don't pay a lot of attention to it any more and before you ask, no - I don't regret any of it."

"Hmm," he said, burying his dick in me as far as he could get it. "So how come we can't get along with each other... unless we're doing this?"

"I don't know," I said. "I gave up trying to figure that out a long time ago; it just is what it is... and it's better than us trying to kill each other."

"Shit..." he said as his dick started pumping in the grip of my ass. It was still very good; still very damned nasty and immoral. I shouldn't be using my anal muscles to squeeze his dick while he was emptying his balls into me and I sure as hell shouldn't be enjoying it or, really, still enjoying it. We were "mortal enemies" except when we did this. I can't explain it - I just learned to accept it; strange bedfellows and all that.

He pulled out of me and used his hands to prompt me to turn onto my back; as I turned, I could feel his spunk starting to ooze out of me as he lowered his head to suck me into hardness before lubing us up and straddling me and the look on his face as my bigger and fatter cock slid into his ass was one I never got tired of seeing. He fully seated himself on me and started moving, his hands on my chest and idly playing with my nipples and said, "You know I can't stand you, right?"

"I know," I said, thrusting upward into him and making him get "that look" on his face.

"I just don't know why sex with you is so damned good," he said as I reached and grabbed his dick and started stroking it.

"I stopped trying to figure that one out, too - it's always been good and I don't question why it is," I said - and thinking that this was a really weird time to be having such a conversation.

He lay down onto me with his head next to my ear and whispered for me to fuck him. I was driving my dick into him and all the while thinking that we should have never started doing this and that it was true that we couldn't stand each other. I'm getting close to cumming and thinking that, shit - being like this with each other? We could have done great harm to each other, maybe killed each other while being so vulnerable and with our guard down... yet, it never occurred to either of us to do anything other than to enjoy having sex with each other and as crazy as it all turned out to be.

I busted in him and he sighed in my ear and said, "That just never gets old..." and even caught in the throes of my release, I couldn't have agreed more. We were both grown men and grown men who should have known better... and the truth was neither of us gave a damn about it.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]"No, it isn't," I said. "I just understand a truth that few people understand. Boys have sex with each other and one's brother is just another boy and you only think the way you do because you refuse to see the truth of what sex is really about."

"But the bible..." they began to say and I waved them off; it was a very old and tired comeback that I knew was coming, that and I knew for a fact that whatever the bible said about it was dead wrong - and at that time in my life, I knew why it was wrong.

"It's wrong," I said. "Or, really, it's not telling the truth; it's hiding the truth to be more accurate. Why do you think the bible says it's wrong?"

"Because God said so," was the expected answer.

"Really? You believe that, huh?" I asked. "And despite that, guys still have sex with other guys, don't they? It makes you wonder which thing is actually the truth - well, it would if you didn't believe what you believe."

Over the years, it's not like I never thought about the morality of it - I did. I'd even be thinking about it while having sex with him. They say if you don't mind, it doesn't matter and, clearly, neither of us minded a whole lot. Even after we got busted, it changed nothing other than to be more mindful not to get caught again. I understood the morality and, again, even understood why it existed for this and, okay - it is what it is but I couldn't get past the fact that despite how forbidden it was, brothers were and had been screwing each other all along. We weren't doing anything that other brothers hadn't been doing - and were doing. Given the way we'd come to... hate each other, we'd found a way for us to get along with each other even if it was only for as long as it took for us to suck each other off and then dump cum into each other's butts.

We didn't mind... so it didn't matter. It was sex; maybe not the way it was - is - supposed to be but sex just the same. Getting excited. Dicks getting hard. Sucking on them and tasting sperm and the sure and certain knowledge that we both got our sperm from the same source since, duh, we had the same father. Knowing how nasty it was and knowing that because it was so nasty, that's what made it so good. We should have never started doing it and we both knew it - and it changed nothing; you just cannot ever undo what's already been done and, yeah, sometimes it's really about being in for a penny and in for a pound.

If we were going to hell, we weren't gonna be the only ones.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]One person I shared this with said, "You couldn't have been that smart at that age!" and I very much begged to differ with them because I was. My parents knew it and the school knew it and they agreed to have me tested... a lot. I had no idea what an IQ test was... but I sure as hell found out what it was and what it meant... and that I didn't like taking tests.

So all of this just made sense to me; I'd realize, later on, that I had been able to do what a lot of people either couldn't do or it took them a long time to do it: I knew the truth of it and now it was just a matter of me spending a lot of time hashing out why it was the truth. All along, my brother and I would take every opportunity we could to suck and screw each other silly. I felt... honored when he busted his first nut with me; I was happily and eagerly sucking his dick when his whole body shook, he said something I couldn't make out - then his whole body went as stiff as a board and before I realized what was happening to him, my mouth got flooded with a whole lot of his stuff - and I mean there was a lot of it and so much that I almost couldn't swallow it all - some got away.

He was beyond over the moon and with a silly grin on his face said, "I'm a big boy now!" - then went down on me. A little later, he was in my ass and fucking me with more gusto than usual until he shot his stuff into me and as I felt his dick pumping away in me, I felt that we had finally "closed the circle" and that when we did it again - not if we did - it was going to be even better.

"Your moral compass is obviously broken," someone once said to me.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[SIZE=3][FONT=verdana]I will never forget that moment, either. I'd slathered us both up with the venerable Vaseline, got him to turn onto his belly, got on top of him, and slowly pushed my dick into his ass. I heard him say, "Ow!" for a moment, followed by him saying, "Ooh - that feels good!" And I fucked him; he was so relaxed under me that I suspected that this wasn't really the first time for him - and later, I'd find out that it wasn't. He's under me, muttering to himself and grinding back against me; I'm working my dick in and out of his very greasy butt and even looking down to see myself fucking him. In my head, that voice - the one I was still learning how to ignore - was screaming at me about how wrong this was and doubly wrong and I did my best not to listen to it. It wanted me to stop... and I didn't want to... and neither did he.[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]This had my mind so occupied that I almost missed him saying, "Shoot your stuff in me!" - and I shot it in him and I would be the biggest liar ever to say that it didn't feel good and even better than when I'd shoot my stuff in any of the other guys. He moaned in a way that, again, I won't forget, wriggling under me in a way few of the other guys did. I pulled out of him - reluctantly - and before I could tell him to do it to me, he asked, "Can I do it to you now?"

Of course he could. More Vaseline and I sighed happily as his smaller dick easily slipped into my butt and I settled in for the long haul because I knew that he wasn't shooting, would only get that good feeling, and that meant he could keep fucking me until he got tired. He finally got tired and we were looking at each other with very stupid grins on our faces; he said, "We gotta do this again!" and I said, "You betcha we will!" We got cleaned up and I went back outside to think about what just happened and to ask myself some questions, one of which was did I feel bad or guilty?

And the answer was, no: Not one bit. My mind reasoned that, again, the only difference between us doing it and me doing it with the other guys was he was my brother. A significant difference... and not so much of one. It wasn't that I couldn't and didn't know the difference between right and wrong; I was just so ahead of my time that I just knew it only made a difference to anyone who believed it really was.[/FONT][/SIZE]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I would be asked, "Didn't you feel bad about it?" and my answer would be, "Yeah, at first... but I got over it." But those inquisitors, in my mind, didn't ask the right question; it wasn't did I feel bad about it but at what point did I feel bad and if they had been insightful enough to ask the right question, I would have told them that I was feeling some kind of way about it right up to the moment when he closed his mouth around my extremely hard dick... and I instantly stopped feeling bad about what was gonna happen and, yeah, me caving in to him.

I would have told them, as a further explanation, that even though my mind was pitching a bitch about it, my body had other ideas and, yes, I was smart enough even at that age to be aware of it and more so since, duh, this wasn't going to be the first time I ever did it with another boy; the only real difference was that the guy who was now happily sucking my dick happened to be my kid brother - and my mind immediately erased this difference even if, at the time, I didn't fully understand why it did.

I came in his mouth and I will never forget the look on his face. A second of "what's this?" flashed across his face followed by a look of "that ain't bad!" and followed by him actually trying to smile with my dick still pumping away in his mouth. He let go of me, licked his lips, and said, "That was so cool! Do it again!" I remember just nodding then pushing him onto his back so I could suck his dick. I knew he wasn't shooting the stuff but I also knew that it was gonna make him get that "good feeling." His dick felt good in my mouth and I got into making him have the good feeling over and over and trying not to laugh at how he was reacting to it - giggling, mostly. By this time, I was good and hard again and he saw that I was and said, "Stick it in me and do it to me!"[/SIZE][/FONT]