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[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]There were some guys who were... forced to do it. Some wound up being traumatized by it while more of them just went with it and learned to like it. I though this was weird and it took me a lot of years to figure out why being made to do it didn't make them crazy. If anything, this was the bad part of being exposed to the "I" word.

One day, a friend and I had been hanging out in front of his place when his father called him in - and his dad seemed to be mad about something. He went in and I just went with him and his father got in his case about not making his bed and doing his chores before going out and even I could sense that he was going to be punished for it... but what I didn't have a clue about was how he was gonna be punished. When it became clear to my friend that his punishment was gonna happen, he looked like he would rather be run over by a car but that didn't surprise me because, really - who liked getting a beating?

So when his dad pulled his dick out and shoved it my friend's mouth, I was beyond shocked and I started to run - but he told me to stay right where I was so I could see what happened to boys who didn't do as they were told. It was horrible and, I had to admit, exciting, too. I was frozen in place and afraid to move as the dad, wow, did he ever fuck his son in the ass! The thing that got to me was even though my friend seemed to hate it, he also didn't seem to hate it all that much. I was just glad his father didn't get it into his head to do that to me!

This, too, was just the way it was. If it wasn't a brother or, gasp, a dad or uncle, there were a lot of guys who got introduced to dicks by a cousin - a whole lot of them. It used to make me wonder if cousins - and cousins who didn't live in the city - were just hornier than anyone else. One friend had a cousin visit with him and he introduced his cousin to us and the firs thing the guy wanted to know was who liked doing it with boys - then proceeded to do it to our friend and he was more than happy to do it.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Quite a few times, I got to watch siblings doing each other and more brother on brother than brother on sister and, the first time I saw it, I was... confused and "shocked" that my friend and his older brother would do it in front of me since we all understood that doing it to another boy was best kept as much of a secret as possible. That first time, I was at my friend's house as his parents were leaving and his brother was coming in to watch him while they were gone. The parents hadn't been gone a good two minutes before the older brother just pulled his dick out and walked over to my friend, whose eyes lit up like it was Christmas. Before he started sucking his brother's dick, he smiled at me like he had stolen something and his brother looked at me, winked, and settled in to be sucked before yanking down his brother's gear and just shoving his dick in - and the fact that it went in so easily and without any Vaseline told me it wasn't the first time they'd done it.

I was mad because I wasn't invited to join in, too. But in other moments, I'd be invited. Some guys had sisters who were, well, they were sluts; they loved having boys do it to them and loved sucking any dick they could suck and their brother or brothers were their main customer. It was so common that if I was hanging out with a guy and his "slutty" sister and she announced that she wanted both of us to do it to her, I just never thought twice about it and more so after my sister and I started doing it.

It just was what it was. Nothing unusual going on here. I watched one of my friends who had three older brothers be in heaven when all three of them took turns doing it to him; I was mad because I wasn't invited and I was "impressed" that the four of them were that bold to do it in front of me - the jerks![/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]A lot of guys I knew got turned onto dick via the "I" word; later in life and when I'd think back to those days, I realized that it was so commonplace that it wasn't seen as being "abnormal." When we weren't having sex with each other, we'd talk about who else we were doing it to (or who was doing it to us) and finding out that some of the guys with siblings were having a field day having sex with them.

A couple of them had much older brothers - teenagers, who were ancient to us - and because they would often see them naked and getting a eyeful of their "gigantic" dicks, they'd often talk about wanting their big brother to do it to them or, at the least, let them suck their dick. One guy said that he was sure his big bro wanted to do something but wasn't making a move - and the rest of us would ooh and aah and even say how lucky he was. I don't remember if it actually happened for him but if any of us were really feeling bad about having sex with our siblings/other relatives, that kinda went away because, well, pretty much all of us were very interested in it.

You just don't feel bad about it when you know you're not the only one.

A few guys were very familiar with their father's dick - we thought those guys were really cool. There were three guys who "cut their teeth" sucking their dad's cock and getting their ass broken in with it... and there were a few more who'd often tell the rest of us that they wanted their daddy's dick really bad but didn't know how to get him to give it to them. Even I had seen my father's cock more than a few times - that man had no modesty whatsoever and, yeah, I'd often daydream about having his dick in my mouth or feeling it being squeezed into my butt and if nothing else, it made for some good imagery to jerk off to.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Putting space between kids? Great idea... doesn't always work. Even as I kid, I knew that there was no way in hell my parents - or any parents - could watch us 24/7. For the longest time, my siblings and I slept in the same room with each other and even when we finally moved to a place where my brother and I shared a room - and my sisters shared a room - well, that didn't stop anything from happening. We knew what kind of trouble we could get into and we all felt that it was worth it. I knew my sisters were doing each other because I'd seen them going at each other and, obviously, me and my brother were doing it to each other every chance we got... which was pretty much every day most of the time. If nothing else, it was convenient and it was a bond that we shared with each other even when we'd fight like cats and dogs.

Sigh. It's not supposed to happen. It doesn't always happen... but it does happen. Maybe just once. Maybe more than once. If parents don't intervene, the kids are usually the ones to call a halt to things at some point... and sometimes, they don't and even into adulthood. Brothers and sisters see each other naked sometimes and they spend a lot of time together; almost everyone has that favorite cousin who is like a brother or sister to them and if you think they're not talking about sex, well, wake up and smell the coffee. If you think that brothers and sisters don't see each other growing up and developing, well, they do... and if you think that they're not going to, at the very least, think about having sex with each other, well, you're pretty clueless, I hate to tell you.

Maybe they won't... and maybe they will. It's illegal and immoral and I can tell you for a fact that it has [B]never[/B] stopped it from happening. Some get caught and punished... and some never do. You can be totally against such behavior but it doesn't ever change the fact that it happens. That's just the way it is and the way it has always been. Really... if you are religious and you know about Adam and Eve and all the trouble they got into, have you ever asked yourself where all the other people came from if, in fact, the only woman in the world was Eve? And I'm not the only one who has ever questioned this and I've heard others talk about Lilith but there is no reference to her in the bible anywhere that I've seen - if she existed, um, where did she come from when, again, Eve was the only woman on the planet?

This is a very touchy subject and one people don't really wanna talk about. Many of us discovered sex and sexuality this way and many of us do, in fact, act as if it never happened - that should tell you how weird we behave about sex and in this context... and I am the guy who has the nerve to say something about the whole incest thing.

And, finally, there's this: Just because it's something you didn't experience never means that no one else didn't or that they shouldn't have.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]My cousins? My male cousin and I had sex with each other for months before it just stopped pretty much on its own and, honestly, the game we'd play so we could do it had long since gotten on my nerves. My female cousin, oh, my god - she was (and still is) beautiful and I was so in love with her so when she asked me if I wanted to have sex with her, I didn't hesitate. The funny thing is that she really wanted to have sex with the cousin I'd been having sex with - but he kept refusing her (the dummy) and, as she told me, "I somehow knew that you wouldn't say no..."

Here's the thing I figured out: If I - and others - were having sex via incest, when I became a parent, it was very possible that my kids were gonna check out sex this way, too. Shit! But I also realized, being the very smart kid that I was, that incest has always happened and that's why there were rules and laws against it and I knew, for a fact, that those rules and laws really didn't stop anyone from doing it - and it's only illegal if you get caught. Growing up, a lot of brothers and sisters got into big time trouble because they were fucking... and somebody got pregnant. One guy I know almost got beaten to death when he got caught having sex with his brother... and one of my friends got killed when his father caught him and his sister fucking... and the dirty secret was that dad was fucking her, too - or so the rumors said.

The question in my mind was: Is this [B]really[/B] that bad of a thing and more so as long as nobody got hurt - read this as they were forced to do it - or a sister or girl cousin didn't get pregnant? My kid logic said that if it wasn't forced and sisters/other female relatives didn't get pregnant, well, what's the problem? Again, I'd learn the answer to that later on... but what I knew was that if siblings - or any other family member - wanted to have sex, it was gonna happen. I knew of mothers who were fucking their sons and daughter, fathers who were fucking their daughters and their sons; there was always that one "creepy uncle" in the mix somewhere and knowing about this was really teaching me something about sex - anyone could do it with anyone and literally so and the only real bad thing was if they were forced to do it.

Otherwise, hmm. People have always been doing it like this and I was smart enough to understand that there was really nothing anyone could do or say to stop it from happening. When my own children got into it, it really didn't bother me a whole lot because I knew it would - it was a matter of when and not a matter of if. I sat them down and told them why they shouldn't do it with each other and I didn't pull any punches, either: They could be taken away from us and we could go to jail because we didn't do anything to stop it; I hit them with every horror story I knew about... and I knew that it was all I could really do other than to keep an eye on them.

Yeah... a fucked up kind of decision but, again, I knew that trying to prevent it would only result in them wanting to find out why they shouldn't do it. One day, my daughter came to me and complained about her brothers doing her and I put a stop to it; again, I knew it would happen, I knew it was either going to stop on its own or I'd have to step in and stop it. Did that make me a bad parent because I dutifully told them not to do it... and let them do it anyway and because I knew I couldn't stop it? You be the judge. I can tell you that it didn't scar or fuck them up - and because they told me it didn't and I did make it a point to talk to each of them about it once they got much older.

And then I warned them that when they had children, guess what might happen? They were gonna have to find a way to deal with this because incest, for better or worse, is a fact of life and one that we don't ever want to talk about. We act like it can't or won't happen when we also know that it can happen.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I've written here many times that, um, I was no stranger to the "I" word and a lot of the kids I grew up with weren't either. It wasn't that we didn't know it was bad and evil because we did; our parents went out of their way to make sure that we weren't having sex with our siblings and without really thinking that by telling us not to do it, we were gonna find out why. Parents were more worried about incest than they were about us having sex with our friends and they were very much on the lookout for any signs of it.

What I used to wonder was did they know what was really going on and, unless someone got busted, would just let it happen and while keeping an eye out for signs of trouble, like it was being forced or coerced? Were they of a mind to let the experimentation go on for a bit of time before stepping in and, in some way, putting a stop to it or did they know that it might happen but wasn't going to happen for very long?

And, yeah: I'd be wondering this while having sex with my brother and my older sister and two of my first cousins - male and female - which is, by law, quite illegal. I would wonder, "Why is this bad? I love my brother and sister (and cousins) and didn't they tell me that you should only have sex with someone you love?"

Yeah... they did. But I'd eventually learn why this is so taboo and forbidden - birth defects and some pretty horrific ones. But it's like what my sister told me once day when we were about to have sex and I voiced a concern about it: "As long as you don't get me pregnant, I don't see the problem with it. Now, eat my pussy..."

Obviously, boys can't get each other pregnant - but that didn't get us a "get out of jail free card" for having sex because this was the other taboo and forbidden thing we were told not to do. I wrote that, at first, I didn't want to have sex with my brother but he bugged me so much about it that I caved in and we did it... and we didn't look back or regret any of it and even when we eventually got caught in the act.

My sister and I stopped having sex with each other exactly one week before her boyfriend got her pregnant... but one day, many years later, we had sex for "old times' sake" and neither of us thought it was all that weird - and she couldn't get pregnant so that probably had something to do with it as well.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[SIZE=3][FONT=verdana]Hands down, it is one of the most taboo and forbidden things on the planet. It is the dirty little secret that humanity never wants to admit to even though we know that it has always happened and there's not a whole lot that can be done to prevent it. We have strict laws about who can have sex with whom and we have a naivety where children are concerned in that we think and believe that there's no way they know anything about sex...

And then, in some way, find out that they know more than you think they did and because, sometimes, brothers, sisters, cousins, other family members introduce each other to sex. We have a funny way of dealing with this very large elephant in the room: As parents, we will do everything we can think of to keep our children from finding out about sex... but while also teaching them to love and care for each other. We wind up "sneaking" to have sex with our partner when the kids are presumably asleep or not even in the home and sometimes we don't realize that they know what we're doing - how many parents have been having sex and had a kid barge in on them?

We worry about our kids finding out about sex from their friends... and, perhaps, not considering that if their friends know about sex, they learned it via the "I" word. What we don't think about so much that children are pretty smart, observant, and very curious. Brothers and sisters tend to see each other in various states of undress and, indeed, it wasn't uncommon for brothers and sisters to bathe together, well, until they got to be a certain age and children don't have filters so much and if they know that boys and girls can have sex, that means [B]all[/B] boys and girls can... even if they're brother and sister. The kid logic says that if boys and girls - brothers and sisters - can have sex, then brothers can with brothers and sisters can with sisters, too.

And despite all the warnings and threats to not even think about this, it happens. Maybe just once. Maybe more than once. It's the thing that scares the shit out of parents.[/FONT][/SIZE]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]This is who I am and what the event that took place 56 years ago has taught and molded me. It's what I've learned by doing and by other means. I know the truth of it. Pretty much all of it. The rules and why they exist and why they're broken and in the way they can be broken including the dreaded "I" word; that just proves that anyone can be fair game... if they're willing to be. It's boys forever being boys. What I did in my youth [B]does count and matters[/B] and that's just the fact of shit. It's not two different things - it's all the same thing and the only difference is, well, I'm all grown up now.

I don't lie to myself; I don't kid myself into believing that what I did when I was 10 "never happened." I did it. Whether cum was involved or not. Because the truth is that you don't need cum to validate that it happened. I can't even say that I "didn't know what I was doing" because I did know... because I was told not to ever do it. What I didn't know, at the moment that man slid his prick into my mouth, was what was gonna happen and didn't know if I was gonna like it or not. Found out what happens. Found out that I liked it - a lot. I still do. I'd do it again if I could. No shame. No regrets about any of it. Would I still have sex with my brother if he was alive? Probably. Hell, I recently saw my cousin at my mother's funeral two weeks ago and if he, by some chance, wanted to do it, I would have been okay with it. I do have morals and there are things, again, I won't ever do... it's just that 56 years being like this has taught me some hard truths about having sex, well, with anyone. I really don't like guys "like that..." but I do like having sex with guys... because it's sex. He cums and I do, too - what else is really needed? I know what it's like to be in love with a guy, too, and it doesn't scare me like it did when I fell in love with him.

Because I understand, if no one else can or does, what all of this really means or what it can mean if you choose to embrace any of it. And I wouldn't want to be any way other than the way I've been for 56 years and counting. No one can take it away from me and no one will; I will be the way I am until I die - and hopefully that won't be any time soon.

I'm not as... easy as I was when I was younger but I'm not gonna make it hard for someone to have sex with me - just don't be my idea of an asshole and do not try to bullshit me because I've seen and heard it all - 56 years just makes that unavoidable.

And what 56 years of being actively bisexual has taught me.


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