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My boyfriend and I are in an open relationship and I was going through his phone when I found some flirty texts with him and one of his guy "friends". There was one other time I thought he could be bi and I asked him but he laughed and denied it. This time I know for sure because there was talk of wanting to hook up and there were sexual pictures sent back and forth.

I'm looking for advice on how to confront him and ask about this. I'm here for him and I genuinely want to support him with any decision he makes. He most likely will deny this even though I have tangible proof. I want to make him feel comfortable and able to open up to me.

Any thoughts?? Thank you!

Is it normal to be straight and have a sexual attraction to men. I think about men sometimes when I masturbate but a lot of the time it's women. Am I bi? I'm married and love having sex with my wife. Also I've never wanted to be with a man in real life it never seemed to turn me on the thought of actually doing being with a man.. Is this normal or what...?

Hello my name is theresa, I am a new member and have a problem and need immediate advice, I've only talked to my cousin about it and she has malice against the situationI've been with my boyfriend for about a year and a halfwe had a rocky relationship so far good and bad times things have happened throughout the relationship he's been abusive to me verbally and physically but I lve hi even before that but I just found out something yesterdayand don't know exactly how to deal with it I approach them about it and he beat me repeatedly and denied it but I know what I foundI told him that I know that that's the reason that he's been taking his anger out on me because he's fighting with himself but its 2014 in the world is different now it seems that he goes on Craigslist for sexual encounters with couples, females and males(in his email it said he was atopper)not sure if he keeps denying it but it was at least 10 to 20 emails are men out of the 600 I found it appears that has been going on before He met mebut I told him he was wrong because he should be true to yourself and he should never have someone call her soon to be into a relationship on those termsmy ordeal is that he's a Jamaican and they are very harsh towards Males with that sexual preferenceon top of that he's very popular amongst the community and I've he doesn't want to let me go now and I feel that he doesn't feel that his secret safe with me I honestly do love him but I'm conflicted because I don't feel like he loves me because it's been all this time and he could have been honest with me you didn't have to be beaten up on me and doing other things he's trying to say that he was just curious and that nothing ever went anywhere but the length and the content of the email shows different I've never been in a situation like this I don't have any siblings are any parents and I by Selena myself from everyone because of him I needadvice

I’m a 52 year old male, bi and I have some baggage.

I went to Catholic School from the time I was 9 to 12 years old. A Priest who practiced the ultimate abuse of power abused me, like so many others.

He said, “I’m testing you for Jesus.” The shithead never told the truth that he was a pedophile who got off on little boys. When I found out he was abusing my younger brother as well I finally told my parents. Incensed, they went to the Diocese. The next day the Priest was GONE. They transferred him away to another parish where he could continue his abuse and would not be found. My parents acted differently towards me from that time until they died.


I don’t think the Priest made me bi, because as long as I can remember both women and men turned me on. When I would sneak looks at my Dad’s porno collection I remember fantasizing getting in bed with the couples and having sex with them both.


The paradox for me is being male and bi in this society.

Gay men I have met said things like, “He just hasn’t been with the right guy, yet.” No, that’s not it.

Ladies I have dated have often left skid marks leaving when I told them I was bi (I’m sure AIDS paranoia had a little to do with that). My ex-wife was bi and I was fine with it, but she was NOT ok with my being bi She'd said my being bi was cool when we met and married but she acted jealous sometimes and the truth came out years later – my being Bi creeped her out. I should not have married a hypocrite, but hindsight is 20-20.

Fast forward to now: I have finally embraced my bi side. I'm not looking to join anyone's family but I do want friendship, common bonds, laughter & conversation. If sex happens AWESOME... as long as the conversation & laughter can continue afterward.


I'm straight-identified. I don't advertise my being Bi & I'm not out simply because I think that no one, other than those to whom I'm attracted & those who might be attracted to me, have the need or the right to know who I like to screw. I don't like the fact that it can matter to ANYONE ELSE & hence can affect my income or environment. That, in my view, is an egregious violation of my Constitutional right to privacy & therefore ILLEGAL!!!


I'm not unattractive or disabled & I'm not a pervert. Yes, perversions are subjective, but I try to be GGG (Good, Giving & Game- I thank you again Dan Savage) as in, I'll be open & honest about my kinks, not demanding of my partner(s) & if it turns them on I'll consider it, within reason. At this point in my life I am set in some ways & know the things I like; but I am always open to suggestion & safe exploration.


The only 4 NO's I have that are written in stone: NO Injury/blood NO Scat NO Animals (other than human) NO Children/Underage Everything else is negotiable. LOL

Here it is… I love sex. I love sex with women. I love sex with men. I love sex with BiM/F couples most of all. On the Kinsey scale I am a 3.5 (slightly more straight than gay). Until God makes a cock that smells and tastes like good clean pussy, I’ll never be totally gay. The ultimate relationship for me would be in a triad with another bi male and a GGG female who might be a bit dominant. What are my chances of finding that, at 52? Slim to none. I'm ok with that.
In the "Ocean of Life" I'm not fighting the waves. I'm surfing them.

[FONT=Helvetica][SIZE=3]Once upon a time, there was a garden. In the garden, there were various flowers and vegetables growing. The owner of the garden planted them where he thought that they would grow in strength. He nurtured them and provided sufficient water. Some of the flowers bloomed with such beautiful blossoms and their perfume floated through the air. They would meet other lovely flowers who came to the garden first as frightened creatures of uncertain destiny.[/SIZE][/FONT]
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[FONT=Helvetica][SIZE=3]At times, some of the flowers encouraged the newer plants who were not sure if they would become a flower or a vegetable. The flowers related stories on their own development. Flora was particularly willing to offer cookies and advice to the newer plants. She told them not to worry and it was no one else’s business whether they became a flower or a vegetable. It might even be possible that the might produce both she said. Sometimes flowers turn out to become the strongest and sweetest tasting vegetable after some time as a beautiful fragrant flower.[/SIZE][/FONT]
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[FONT=Helvetica][SIZE=3]Late, when the gardener was not looking, snakes and spirit creatures from another realm entered the garden. They hissed and spewed venom around some of the vegetables so that anyone picking the vegetables would feel great pain and discomfort. The snakes and spirits frequently spewed the same noxious fumes declaring some of the flowers “closet queens” and other antiquated falacies from their dominion. [/SIZE][/FONT]
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[FONT=Helvetica][SIZE=3]The gardener would notice the damage that the snakes caused. He would chase them out of the garden. Some time would pass and the spirits would return with the snakes slithering in to the garden presenting themselves as a flower or vegetable. Some of the flowers could identify the snakes by how they used the letter “s” and their movement was well...just not really flower like.[/SIZE][/FONT]
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[FONT=Helvetica][SIZE=3]One or two of the snakes presenting themselves as flowers would let it slip out that their language was foreign and full of terms like “Mary”, "closet queen” “cheaters” even accusing some flowers as being fleurphobic.[/SIZE][/FONT]
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[FONT=Helvetica][SIZE=3]There were various times that the flowers and vegetables would gather in a forum to share their thoughts and fears that the flowers were just not “normal” like the flowers in the middle of the garden. The centre flowers considered themselves the best and most beautiful because the centre got most of the sunshine. Those outside the garden thought that the flowers in the centre had to be the way a flower is to suppose to be. The other flowers who sometimes felt more attraction to vegetables than the centre flowers were confused about the thoughts that entered their mind.
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[B]Now, what should be the next paragraph?[/B][/FONT]

[CENTER][SIZE=6][B][FONT=arial black][COLOR=#0000cd]BI Me

[/COLOR][/FONT][/B][FONT=arial black][I][SIZE=4][COLOR=#00ffff]Personal Thoughts from coming out of the closet to being openly Bisexual

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[/COLOR][/SIZE][/I][/FONT] I had known for quite some time, years in fact that I was attracted to men the same as I was women. Being raised in the buckle of the bible belt in an ultra-conservative and very narrow minded region, I assumed that I should just ignore it. I grew up in a home with parents that were much older than my friend’s parents that had extremely old fashioned views on relationships and sexuality. So as I grew up I ensured that everything I did was exactly what the average all-American boy was supposed to do.[/LEFT]
Now, I’m not saying that I knew that when I felt an emotional connection to another guy that it was bisexuality, but I did know that there was something different than the norm. As I started to take notice of girls a bit in middle school, and even more so in high school I knew the feelings I had for them was emotional as well as sexual desire. The part I didn’t understand, was that I was having the same feelings for some of the guys I knew also. I shrugged it off as “it’s just because we’re close”, but looking back now I realize that there was more to it than that. Am I saying that just because you feel close to someone of the same gender that you must be bi or gay? No. But I know now that with the number of guys that I felt that way with, some of which I barely knew, that for me those feelings were bisexual in nature.
As my time in high school was coming to an end and the decision to go into college or the military arose, I chose the military. Keep in mind, I was basically oblivious to being bisexual. I went into the military and did as all the other recruits did, and listened to everything the military told me, including that being attracted to the same sex was bad. This point just reinforced everything that I had ever been told about relationships and sexuality, so I accepted it.
It wasn’t until I was at my permanent duty station that I had my first actual sexual encounter with another guy. I was doing the same thing every other military guy does when he gets to his first station, party like hell. I didn’t have a vehicle at the time, I was at a bar and my ride left without me. A nice guy offered to give me a ride and I accepted. Once we got to where we were going we sat and talked for a while, and then he popped the question, he ask if I would like for him to service me. Not wanting to be rude, and after all he did give me a ride, I obliged. After it was all said and done I was left rather confused. I didn’t know of anyone that I could talk to, that would understand anyhow, so I just kept it all inside to myself.
After the military, I did the normal thing of get married, have kids, you know the normal things. After a rather testy divorce I was on my own again. I had made friends with one of my neighbors, and what do you know, he was gay. I finally had someone that I could talk to, and talk we did. I got to see things from his perspective and relate them to myself.
After a while I did get remarried, and she knew that my friend was gay. She didn’t know however that I was bisexual, but then again, I really didn’t either. We used to all go out and party together, and one of the frequents was the local “lifestyle” bar. I enjoyed going there because I could be myself, have fun and no one would judge me, ogle me maybe, but judge me? No.
The moment that everything started to work itself out was one weekend when we were all out having fun together. We had all been drinking, it was late, he didn’t want to drive home drunk, so we had him crash at out place. One thing led to another, and we all woke up the next morning in bed together. To keep this from being a sex story, and keep it on track I’ll leave it at that. That’s when my wife understood that there was more I enjoyed than the normal religious definition of a relationship. That’s also when I started realize there was a reason for the feelings I had, and having the chance to finally act on them felt great.
I had kept the secret that I was bisexual to myself with only my wife and my friend knowing for several years. My wife and I eventually moved from the buckle of the bible belt to a town quite a bit larger with a much broader spectrum of people. She would let me get together with a guy now and again, and more than one occasion we had a guy join us. I would shave my legs from time to time, and then decided to paint my nails. I discovered I really enjoyed these things, and I was having more frequent dreams and daydreams about being with another guy, not just on a sexual level, but on a communication level as well.
But I was still torn with the idea of someone finding out that I was bisexual. What would they think of me? After all, I’m ex-military at this point and everyone envisions me as this tough guy that doesn’t take shit from anyone. Which also lent itself to my own thinking of, if I was openly bisexual would it mean that I would have to do things differently? Enjoy different music? Dress differently? Act differently?
The epiphany came one day while reading an article online. I can’t recall where the article was or who it was by, but it made me realize that I’ve been bisexual all along, and I’m still who I am. So, then my thinking was, why hide it any longer? I realized that by being open about it, I not only would feel better, but I could stop being frustrated with myself and my situation.
I finally one day made the decision that I was tired of keeping my sexuality to myself, so I talked with my wife, and made sure that she was ok with me coming out. Since it affected her as well I wanted to make sure she was ok with me being open about my sexuality. She understood my desire to do so, and was in full support of me, honestly I was a bit surprised by this. But that is also one of the things that make us such a great couple, I support her, and she supports me. So, I decided to be open with it. I started shaving my legs full time as well as getting regular pedicures with polish, and stopped being embarrassed and afraid of wearing shorts and sandals in public. I will admit that the first few times was a little unnerving but that soon passed and I never felt better about myself. My only regret about it, is I wish I hadn’t waited so long.

Now, I’m not telling you that I ran out in the street and yelled “I’m Bisexual” or made it a point to direct conversation so as to interject that I’m bi, but I stopped feeling like it’s a bad part of me that I need to hide. My first step in being openly bi was to be open with my wife what I’m feeling at all times about my sexuality. After the initial shock of going in public with my legs shaved and toes painted I’m starting to settle in to my new open self. By the time you have read this article I will have made what some may consider a rather bold statement of my sexuality by getting a bi tattoo on my ankle.
Does everyone I come into daily contact with know that I’m bi? No. But, if they find out or suspect it, I’m no longer going to deny it. I don’t feel that it is my place to shove what I enjoy in everyone’s face, nor do I feel that I should go out of my way to put it out there. Yes, I realize I just mentioned getting a tattoo of my sexuality, and then mentioned that I’m not going to put my sexuality in everyone’s face. But, my tattoo isn’t about putting my sexuality in everyone’s face, but rather about me coming to full terms with who I am and being comfortable in my own skin (at least after the ink has healed).
I haven’t hopped on the phone or the internet and told all of my family members about my sexuality, nor do I intend to, I fail to see the point in that. But, should they find out, there’s no point in denying it or trying to hide it, after all I have realized that being bisexual is part of who I am.
Am I saying that everyone should do the same thing that I have done? No. Nor am I saying that you should take my words as words to live by. But I do hope that you can relate in some way to some of my views and perspectives and know that not everyone is the same in their sexuality even within the pidgeon hole of being bisexual. For me I feel the most comfortable bisexually when I shave my legs, paint my toes and share stories of my thoughts, desires and adventures with my wife. For you it might be something entirely different.
I know that there will be those of you that criticize my thoughts and views by saying I’m bisexual solely for the purpose of being promiscuous in a committed relationship, as well as there will be those of you that say I’m hiding being gay by being married. But keep in mind these are after all my thoughts and views, just a short compilation of my journeys thus far and the things I’ve seen and felt. Being who I am now makes me completely happy, I enjoy my wife, I enjoy my family and I enjoy my friends whether they be gay, straight, or bi.