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I'm needing advice on threesums, I have been with my bf for over 2 years now and am really starting to crave women again. i havent been with a girl for about 5 years and my urges are getting worse. i love my bf to bits and would never cheat on him, even if my life depended on it. he dosnt class a threesum as cheating so ive been thinking about it. maybe it would work to get rid of this frustration. only problem is the idea of him being with someone els kinda gets me a tad jelous. Is there away to stop the jelousy? or do you think its a bad idea to try it?

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I was reading about a bisexual man writing about his wife who wants a female lover. The wife decided that she was bisexual and had become involved with another married woman. After he thought about it for a few days, he realized that his wife loved him. He wanted her to have what will make her happy. He trusted her to find a balance to give them both attention. Interestingly, the wife was not comfortable with him having a male lover.

A person may take various aspects and perspectives when it comes to love. Love is an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment. Attachment may be both constructive and beneficial if it doesn't become obsessive and possessive about the personal attachment. Some people have a concept that love means exclusiveness sexually (monogamy) while others do not. Monogamy is a partnership and some argue has little to do with love when the attachment becomes possessive. When a person wants to be sexually exclusive is that love or possessiveness and jealousy?

Jealousy is possessiveness. Both relate to ownership and manifesting a desire to control or dominate another. This is most negative and especially if it is inorder to limit a person's relationship with others. Some permit platonic relationships with others and some develop jealousy and possessiveness of even platonic relationships. Fewer tolerate and are comfortable with sexual relationships with others which may lead to conflict for some bisexuals.

Jealousy is an emotion that refers to negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, particularly in reference to a human connection. Jealousy often consists of a combination of presenting emotions such as anger, resentment, inadequacy, helplessness and disgust. Jealousy implies a triad composed of a jealous individual, a partner, and a perception of a third party or rival. Jealous reactions typically involve aversive emotions( disgust etc.) and/or behaviors that are assumed to be protective for their attachment relationships instead of perceiving the triad as beneficial to the happiness of the loved one.

Jealousy may be: a/ sexual or b/ emotional/ romantic. Romantic jealousy is the most complex of the two forms and it is a result of a threat to the self esteem of the jealous person. Romantic jealousy arouses the strongest emotional reaction. Jealousy is often reinforced as a series of particularly strong emotions and constructed as a universal human experience that may seek to privileged monogamous discourses.

Sexual jealousy may be defined as a response triggered when a significant other displays sexual interest in another person. Romantic jealousy is a complex of thoughts, feelings, and actions which follow threats to self esteem. One partner can feel the emotion of jealousy arise if the other partner is paying more attention or time with someone else. The man above was correct in stating that his wife would have balance the attention that she might give to both him and her female lover if they were to be comfortable.

Schachner & Shaer (2004) report that there are no sex difference in expression of childhood attachments and jealousy but certain adults experience jealousy as a more harmful coping mechanism than others. Jealousy plays a role in sexual attachment for some adults. Schnachner & Shaer state that emotional jealousy was found to be nine times more responsive in females than in males.

The "Love Style" of the person experiencing jealousy and possessiveness becomes a significant factor. The man above had a love style that differed from his female partner.

Love songs, love stories are created to reinforce the concept that love is an exclusionary behaviour but this construct is usually created by monosexuals and not bisexuals. We do read or hear of stories of sacrifice and love. If a person loves you they should put their own happiness aside to "prove" their love for you is quite a different approach than the husband above. In fact, he was bisexual himself and obviously revealed this to his bisexual wife thinking that they both might show their love by offering what may make each happy. In that respect, some may argue that he was not really sacrificing. He was as she wanted the freedom but refused to grant him the same. Why should you have to sacrifice your freedom on the guise of love if your partner is interested in your happiness? It seems like a Catch 22.

[QUOTE=Jeriel;222645]I may define love as a serious one. The one who is kind and patient.

jeriel@phil
+6309321562671[/QUOTE]

My lovely wife had been in philly for a week so we made plans to go out and have a good time when she got back into town. So she planned our weekend out got a nice hotel room in Orlando once we got checked in and everything we went out to eat. From there we went back to the room to get ready for the rest of the night. We left the hotel room on our way to the club she took me to a club called the pulse. It was said to be a nice bisexual club for like minded people to mingle but upon arrival to the club it appeared that was a club for young gay guys. Now not that I have any problem with that but I was reluctant to go in as I was hoping it would have been more of a bisexual place and it may have been if we had actually made it inside lol. Anyway we left there and made our way to the groove where the atmosphere was a hopping and had a good mix of people and the night turned out excellent. Now though I can't help wondering how it would have been if we had went into the club we originally set out for as I have never actually been to a gay/bi club would I have liked it would she have liked it could I have met a nice guy there or could we have met a nice bi couple there. I don't know but I would like to thank my wife for this wonderful weekend and the thought she put into it. Also sweetie the next time you plan to do something exciting like this for me I promise to go and atleast check it out.

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why do people think that bisexuality is the best of all worlds ?... the false illusion that we are happy cos we have the best of both worlds ?, we have had two dates at the weekend, we never lack for sex ?

yes bisexuality can mean that we can share our lives with both genders, but, that is not always the fantasy that people believe... because people are human, they have baggage, they have lives, and they have wants, needs and desires too.. and that can lead to conflict, as bisexuals are human too, not professional baggage handlers..... so many of us try to make contact with people without handling the baggage.... and it can make us appear like all we care about is sex, not people......

are bisexuals so different in that respect than any other sexuality that go to the bars or singles groups with the desire to meet other people for company and no strings attached sex ? we are people that can form long term relationships with people too..... its not all about being free and easy.... being bisexual is about being human too....

yes we have sexual interests, wants and needs, but we want to be held, touched, loved, wanted, needed, desired by our partners.... our long term partners.... and we want them to understand that they are our partners, the ones we love, want, need and desire..... but that we can also have a itch that can be difficult to scratch... and it can be like the itch on the underside of your foot when you have two arms full of things......

it can mean coming out to friends, family and loved ones in the hope that they understand its not just about sex, its about who we are, what we think, what we feel, why we are bisexual and what it means to be bisexual..... what it means to be lost, confused, misunderstood.... and hoping that the people that matter most to us, can understood that we are bisexual, but we are still the same people we were before we came out......

bisexuality can be a beautiful shared experience or experiences, it can be the chance to meet many different unique people of different ages, races, cultures, sexualities....... it can be the chance to share some very special, tender, passionate moments between people..... it can be the chance to share something with others and ourselves that defies words....... it is our world, it is our bisexuality......

is bisexuality all that its made out to be, is a loaded question, as the same can be asked of heterosexuality, homosexuality, asexuality... any form of sexuality..... and the best way to find out, is not to assume, judge or reject bisexuality, but take the hand of a bisexual and walk with them..... and learn the truth about each bisexuals differences, their unique individual traits,..... and then ask yourself, is bisexuality all its made out to be...... and are bisexuals anything more than simple people with simple wants, needs and desires...... and a desire to share our bisexuality with others.... in the hopes they enjoy sharing bisexual experiences.......

It's mid-term from today.. luffly week off work..but had an interview this morning for a new job closer to home... already have been offered one, but this one is even more close so popped along or haff 8 this morning as requested and can honestly say, it went ok.. came out feeling dead smug and pleased with mesel... no, am not so arrogant as to think the job was in the bag, but know I did the best I could and did it well and do know the Chair of the panel definitely liked me. That is always a plus at such times.... never quite sure being seen first of a day is however.. because..

....I walked out of the interview room feeling good, a feeling which lasted about 2 seconds because what I was confronted with was a 24 yo rather gorgeous girl I knew from uni waiting to be wheeled in and interviewed. She is not only bright, but very fucking bright and sex oozes from every pore... she is also very heterosexual. So there was me, done up to the eyeballs but attired both respectfully and quite conservatively, feeling very pleased with myself, suddenly feeling like a bit of an old grannie and very inadequate and dowdy indeed. In my ears rang the word's of my daughter regarding the job I have already been offered... "Take that job and I will never, ever speak to you ever again!" I think some internal family difficulty may be about to become exacerbated..

Now I realise getting a job should be about getting the best person into that job, irrespective of gender, age, looks and sexuality... it is something I have fought for all my adult life...but who knows truly how people are appointed to jobs and what is in the minds of those who do the appointing and proving what we may suspect is a very dificult thing indeed.. but we go along dressed as appropriate and do our bit to get on in life and see what comes...

...and after today I suspect what comes will be that little bit of a family fracas resulting from working at the same school as my daughter is a student. O the joys of work and love of family.