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[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]It wouldn't be for quite a few more years before my wife actually got to see my brother and I going at each other in what was, admittedly, the weirdest group sex thing to date... but none of us thought it was all that weird but probably because our women both knew about the two of us.

Because of our open marriage, sure - sometimes I'd come home from being with a guy and regale her with how it all went down and, sure, sometimes, I'd come home with some guy's sperm still stuck in my butt or, at the best of or worse, my butt would be sore from the fucking I got. It was either a "good time" or "it could have been better" - but it's always easy to say that after the fact.

Besides, I'd spent so much of my life being fucked by guys that notions of it being "weird" just stopped registering with me; ya either got fucked or you didn't and it really didn't matter a whole lot. Yeah, today? You gotta be "special" to me to be able to fuck me although there are times I wanna be fucked... just because I need to be fucked and I don't find that weird at all...

It's just the way I am and can be. I'd rather spend all day sucking a guy's dick than to be fucked because I don't feel like being bothered by all the preparation more than anything else but, again, that's just me. I just know and learned that once you get used to being fucked, it just stops being weird...[/SIZE][/FONT]

[SIZE=3][FONT=verdana]"It's different with your brother, though," she said.[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]"Very different," I agreed. "We can be highly pissed with each other but we'd still want to get naked and suck and fuck each other silly... and I can't really explain how and why that makes any sense given that no one is of a mind to have sex with someone they don't like and you know good and damned well you don't like them."[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]"Really weird, too, huh?" she asked.[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]"About as weird as anything could be," I said, changing lanes to pass yet another slow moving car. "Ha... we'd be fighting, mom would break us up and send us to our room and he'd ask me if I wanted to do it and I always said yes... even though we both wanted to keep punching each other's lights out. You'd think that we'd try to hurt each other having sex... but that never happened and I know it never crossed my mind. I guess we were having make-up sex... until the next time we'd wind up fighting. Shit... we'd do each other, get finished, and go right back to being mad enough to start fighting again."[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]"Out of all the guys who have ever fucked me, I liked being fucked by him more than any other," I said. "We didn't have to prove anything to each other; one of us would want to do it, ask the other, and we'd do it although, now that I'm thinking about it, he'd ask me more than I'd ask him but the thing was no matter which one of us asked, the other would never say no."[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]"And y'all still do it?" she asked - but I knew that she knew that already.[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]"Yeah... sometimes, when we've not seen each other for a while, he'll show up, we get to talking to get caught up and at some point, we'll wind up getting naked and having sex; sometimes it's a blow job but most of the time, yeah, we're fucking each other," I said.[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]"Even if you're mad at each other for something?"[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]"Even if," I confirmed. "If there was a guy I wanted to fuck me, it was him - and I still can't explain it and he doesn't understand it any better than I do and believe me - we've talked about this a lot over the years. These days, it's just something I don't think about; if he wants to fuck, we can fuck - no questions asked or needed. Would I still kick his ass? I sure would and wouldn't feel bad about it, either."[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]"Weird..." she said.[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]"Very. But as weird as that was it didn't feel as weird as having some other guy fucking me," I allowed. "I can't honestly say that I love my brother; I don't hate him as much as I have a great dislike for him... but, sure, if he wants to have sex with me, we can do it and it's always very pleasurable."[/FONT][/SIZE]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]"I really don't know," I finally said. "I want the guy to fuck me; I want him to stick his dick in me, fuck me, then cum inside me and if he does that, well, I'm satisfied. It might be that I don't expect him to do anything other than that. Over the years, I guess I got away from expecting any guy who'd stick his dick in me to make it good for me and to have that sense of satisfaction over having a dick in my ass because I wanted a dick in my ass. Did that make sense?"

"What if he cums too fast?" she asked.

"That used to piss me off, too - but being a guy, you really know that it happens even when you don't want it to happen. I know girls hate that shit most of the time but I've had a lot of time to think about what it is I like about being fucked and what I want the other guy to do... and what I really want him to do is cum in me and to feel him doing it. So, if it happens early, well, didn't he do what I wanted him to do?"

"You really have a strange way of looking at this," she said.

"It works for me and more so when it's clear to me that if you don't expect anything, you can't be disappointed by anything so you keep it simple: Stick your dick in my ass and cum in me and, yeah, sometimes, the sooner, the better - but don't women feel like that, too?"

"Yeah, sometimes we do," she admitted. "You take too long to bust that nut and the shit gets uncomfortable and we can lose interest, too."

"Yeah, I know that," I said since I'd had a lot of women tell me the same thing including my own wife.

"So you've told me that you got fucked a lot back in the day... but not so much these days; is there a reason for that?" she asked.

"Yeah - sometimes, I don't feel like being fucked, that and I've come to understand - again - some of the same things women learn in that there are some guys you want fucking you and some guys you wouldn't fuck for any reason. Sometimes, it's not all about what you want to do but who's looking to do it to you and, yeah, sometimes, you just don't want to be bothered with it," I said. "The bad part is that a lot of guys expect you to give up the booty to them and it doesn't mean shit to them if you tell them you don't wanna be fucked."

"You've learned some shit, that's for sure," she said. "Ha... you understand women better than you think you do!"

"You learn some shit when there's another guy treating you like a girl," I said with a sigh. "You really want a guy fucking you to give a shit about you other than just being a means to an end for him, right?"

"Damned right," she said.

"Once upon a time, I'd give up my ass to be fucked just because... but now I really think about whether or not I want to give it up to someone and, sometimes, I just don't because like women learn, you really get tired of being treated like just a piece of ass," I said. "So I pick and choose who gets to fuck me."

"Makes sense," she said - but as a woman, I felt that she would easily see the sense in it.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[SIZE=3][FONT=verdana]"I guess it does; when you're a girl, you kinda feel girly most of the time, right?" she asked before she started laughing again.[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]We drove along for the next several miles in near silence and my mind was reviewing all of the times I'd had a guy on top of me and he was driving his dick in and out of my asshole. It felt good and, yeah, I supposed it did feel weird to have a guy doing to me what I'd do to both girls and guys.[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]"What's the best part for you when a guy is fucking you?" she asked, breaking the silence.[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]"When he cums," I said without hesitation. "Well, to feel him sliding in and out of you feels good, too, you know, depending on how he's fucking you but after a while, it kinda stops feeling good and your body is kinda waiting to feel his dick get bigger and fatter... then it's pumping away; sometimes you can feel it going in you, sometimes you can't but he's pumping away and you know what he's doing to you."[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]"Yeah... trying to get you pregnant," she quipped - and that started yet another round of near hysterical laughter. "You ever get upset when a guy fucks you and he doesn't cum?"[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]"Oh, yeah - that used to piss me off something fierce," I said with a laugh of my own. "I'd be lying there, waiting for him to shoot his load into me and... he pulls out saying he can't cum... and I'd get mad and think that he just put me through all of that for nothing. I realized that it happens and, truth be told, it didn't happen all that often and, well, I just learned not to get bent out of shape about it because I did want to be fucked and he fucked me."[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]"That shit pisses women off," she said. "Even though you're kinda glad he didn't cum in you because you can't get pregnant if he doesn't cum - well, for the most part, anyway."[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]"True enough," I agreed. "But since we don't have to worry about that, I guess that it just makes sense that if you're going to be fucked, you want that load pumped into you."[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]"Ever wish you hadn't done it?"[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]"A lot of times," I said, feeling my face frown up. "It always sound like a good idea and sometimes turns out to be the worst decision you could have made. Some guys aren't of a mind to make it feel good to you and some guys are, at least for me, way too rough to be enjoyed; then you're lying there and praying that he hurries the fuck up and cum so he can get out of you... and, yeah, just like women tend to experience as well."[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]"How do you deal with that?" she asked.[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]"I don't know about other guys but I had to change the way I thought about being fucked and understanding that, yeah, sometimes you can do the right thing with the wrong guy so now it's about being able to take away as many positives as you can. I'd get fucked by a guy and it was the worst decision I made... but I did get fucked and he did suck me off before he fucked me so I did get something out of it even if I didn't like the way things went."

"That's an interesting way to look at it," she said.

"I guess. Good and bad are subjective things and most of the time, it's only bad when you think about it after the fact. Sometimes it starts out being "bad" or, really, not what you expected or wanted but you keep letting it happen because it could get better... and when it doesn't, sure - it makes you feel like you made a huge mistake."

"So you really got to understand what dudes put women through and makes them feel when they give up the pussy, huh?" she asked.

"I really did," I confirmed. "I don't know about other guys like me but knowing this changed the way I have sex with women; you just try the best you can to not have her thinking that she made a huge mistake by giving up the pussy to you."

"It is hard for a guy to please you when he fucks you?" she asked... and I blinked because before she asked the question, I had never given any thought to this aspect at all.


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[SIZE=3][FONT=verdana]"Or, maybe it still is and you're just not paying that much attention to it," I added. "Back in the early days, we'd be too worried about getting caught to think about how weird it was and to a lot of us, well, it was just part of a progression."[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]"A progression?" she asked.[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]"Yeah - it's the easiest way I can explain it. See, you start out sucking dick and yeah - it feels good but weird to get your dick sucked by a guy or to be sucking a guy's dick and after a while, fucking just seems to be the next logical thing to try. Some guys didn't want to try it and some tried it and kept going with it but some guys would try it a couple of times and decide it wasn't much fun for them."

"Does it feel weird to have a guy cum in you?" she asked. "You know that me and a lot of women think it feels pretty weird the first time a guy cums inside you."

"It does feel weird," I agreed, my mind flashing back to the moment the man that turned me onto dick shot his load into my ass. "It's a... good kind of weird? I'm not sure how to describe it. I mean, once you figured out what that shooting sperm stuff is all about and how it can get girls pregnant, I don't know about any other guy but I would feel very weird knowing that this guy was trying to get me pregnant."

My wife started laughing and I laughed right along with her because, of course, there's just no way for a guy to get knocked up by another guy - and all "jelly baby" jokes aside.

"It made me understand some shit about sex," I said, slowing down some because traffic, for some reason, was slowing down in front of us. "It's really all about cumming and for dudes, well, sometimes it doesn't matter where your sperm is going or who it's going in as long as you can cum."

"I can understand that," she said, still kinda giggling over what I'd said about getting pregnant.

"We had a thing growing up - if you weren't willing to suck and fuck, you couldn't hang out with us," I said. "Well, except for our resident gay guy who didn't like to fuck... but he sure loved sucking dick and being fucked and since he did, he was the exception to our rule. I remember asking him one time - after I'd got done fucking him - why he liked being fucked so much."

"What did he say?" she asked.

"He said it made him feel nice and girly," I answered. "At the time, it didn't make much sense to me but, then again, the whole gay thing didn't make a lot of sense. I was like, okay, he likes it and I like fucking him and I just let it drop. But whenever a guy would fuck me, I came to understand what he meant by what he said - you do feel kinda girly but not always in a bad way, if that makes any sense?"

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[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]With the kids safely tucked away with their grandmother, my [first] wife and I went on a day trip to NYC, the decision made to go there by flipping a coin - heads, we go to The Big Apple, tails we go to DC. It was good to get away from home and the kids and we wanted to take as much time we could just to be together and go about our time with no plans other than to have fun and relax.

Once we crossed the bridge into NJ and hit the turnpike, well, we were having fun, listening to the radio, fussing at all the crazy drivers whizzing by us and sometimes followed by the state police, complete with flashing lights - just a husband and wife on the road and being in the moment. After a stop at a roadside rest stop - and just because it was there - we continued our trip, munching on French fries and my wife asked me a question.

"I know you've been screwed by guys... is it weird?" she asked.

"You know, I'm not sure that I've ever really thought about how weird it is," I said, smoothly changing lanes to pass a slower car. "I mean, you know it's not supposed to be done and it's "nasty" and all that but, yeah, I guess it is kinda weird, now that you got me thinking about it."

"I'd ask you what it feels like to be fucked but I already know that," she said, grinning at me. "I still remember the night you did me in my ass; it felt weird, but good; yeah, it hurt some but not really - is that about right?"

"For the most part," I agreed, feeling my dick starting to get hard remembering the night she was referring to. "Like, if ya didn't know it hurts going in - and some guys really don't know - then it's a big shock to the system but since almost everyone knows it's gonna hurt some, you either learn to deal with it or you don't."

"True, true," she said.

"I think - now that you have me thinking about it - the weirdest thing isn't being fucked; it's how it makes you feel," I said. "It's a combination of things and beginning with you know good and damned well you're not supposed to be getting fucked by another guy; you feel... vulnerable, scared, excited and when he gets into position to stick it in you, you're both tense with anticipation while trying to relax as much as you can because it's really gonna hurt something fierce if your body is all tensed-up when he starts pushing it in."

"Once he gets it in, well, he starts fucking you... and sometimes it's made me feel like a girl, sometimes I've felt... bad about being fucked and sometimes worse admitting to myself that it feels good," I continued, feeling my butt-hole kinda twitching. "Sometimes a guy will make it really nice and sometimes you're lying there getting dicked and wishing you hadn't agreed to it."

"I know that's right," she said. "So guys tend to find out what women know about being fucked?"

"That's pretty much a given," I said. "It's not always bad and, I dunno, once you get used to it, I guess it stops being weird," I said.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Verdana]Human sexuality is a funny thing, not funny Ha Ha, but funny that for the most part, many struggle with it but once they accept it, often wonder where all the anxiety and stress came from. Phillip Schofield just came out gay after over 20 odd years of marriage and I can just imagine the internal struggles he went through over those years. This is controversial and may annoy some but I believe most people, if not all are innately bisexual. They have the capacity to fall in love or pleasure, for the sake of this blog and to keep things simple, men and women.[/FONT]
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[/FONT][FONT=Verdana]The same behaviour is witnessed in the animal kingdom, perhaps not the love part, who knows, so why should humans be any different? I applaud Mr Schofield for having the strength I do not. He has decided that he has to live the remainder of his years the person who he was born to be. Yes, I believe there is an element of genetic coding at play. There isn't necessarily a gay gene, but a gene that may make them more susceptible to same sex attraction and it's more dominant in some than others. When you add in opportunity or situation in to the fray, some will act upon it, even those who claim to be 100% straight.

I myself maintain I was born this way. I didn't become bisexual overnight, it was a long arduous journey over many years and can honestly say that I felt different from mid-late puberty as my hormones really kicked in. I knew I wasn't straight but there was no bisexual back then, it was straight or gay, you had to choose sides so I did and lived with it buried in my inner most soul for a quarter of a century. This journey need not have been anywhere near as long if not for social convention and religion making it so. Who any man or woman chooses to love or have sex with is no one else's business. [/FONT]

[FONT=Verdana]Perhaps the next human evolution in 1000 years may be further down this path and genders become irrelevant, it's just sex and love, if we don't blow ourselves up first. Until then most of us will just have to continue to live in the shadows or closets, but every so often there is a little light, a glimmer of hope when someone of fame, such as Mr Schofield comes out and the world is full or praise and support, not disgust. I'm sure there's many out there who are full of disgust but the overwhelming response has been positive in the media so I hope it's actually been like that for him out of the spotlight too.[/FONT]
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I believe there are three major stages, realisation, acceptance and acknowledgement when it comes to sexuality. Realisation is not acceptance. I realised from an early age that I had same sex tendencies and like so many, didn't accept it till later on in life. Acknowledgement is the final stage, it's when an individual acknowledges it to others, aka, coming out. It's the stage I am struggling with and may never enter though I would very much like too. It's a stage you don't have too enter, it's totally optional. It's the acceptance stage that matters the most. Acceptance for me is the key to a happy life sexuality wise. I personally no longer feel any guilt associated with my desires, fantasies or dreams because it's nature and therefore natural, not to mention pleasurable. It's a part of who I am, it's a part of who I want to be. I don't want to be straight. Bisexual feels right.[/FONT]

[FONT=Verdana]As the Pride parade is today in New Zealand, my hope is to one day participate. I never knew why they held the parade when I was wearing my straight mask, I thought it was a bit flamboyant and look at me. It was not until I accepted my sexuality that I understood why. For me, my sense of pride came from the acceptance. I was finally at peace instead of fighting myself every step of the way. I had won the battle even though some would say I lost. I had accomplished what many cannot, I wanted to shout it from the rooftops and I simply wanted to be a part of something bigger than me. This is where the forums come in. It's my parade for the moment. It's my outlet. It allows me to be me. It allows me to express myself. If we all don't use it, we risk losing it and that will be a very dark day for us all.[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]“With us, I guess there’s an understanding. If there’s not going to be any fucking, sucking each other off is the thing to do,” I said. “Sometimes, that’s all that needs to be done and everyone walks away happy.”
[/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]“Does the size of the dick matter to you?” she asked?
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“Doesn’t matter to me,” I said. “But like you said, I have a funny way of looking at this. Smaller dicks are easier to suck but any size dick can be sucked.”
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“Was that dude with the 13” dick hard to suck?” she asked, taking my hand and sticking it between her legs - she was sopping wet - again.

”Yes and no,” I said. “He was stupid long but not all that thick - still quite the challenge for me to take him deep.”

”Damn...,” she said as a splash of hot pussy juice flowed over my fingers.

”Your girl asked me why you’re so damned good at eating pussy,” she said - and I knew who she was referring to.

”And what did you tell her?” I asked.

”That you get a lot of practice,” she answered with a giggle. “Did you know you were the first guy she’s ever sucked?”

”I didn’t know that,” I said. I could tell she wasn’t all that experienced but, okay.

”Oh, yeah - she told me after you ate her silly and wouldn’t stop eating her, she had to do something to make you stop.”

”Hmm... all she had to do was tell me to stop - I would have stopped,” I said.

”I told her that but I guess you ate her so good that you were worth her sucking dick for the first time in her life,” my wife said. “And she sucked you off, too!”

“She did and for the record, I did warn her,” I said. I remember the look on the woman’s face when I ain’t my load - it was precious.

”I know, baby,” she said as another squirt of pussy juice covered my fingers. “She won’t blow her husband... but she told me she will suck your dick any time you want her to.”

”I’m honored,” I said - I was actually blushing.

”Still, I didn’t tell her that you’re so good at it because you suck dick,” my wife said. “And speaking of sucking dick...”
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