Cherokee_Mountaincat
Jul 29, 2010, 5:50 PM
Hey! Number 16 is more true that you know! lol
Cat
some advantages to aging:
The older we get.....
ONE
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter.
'You don't?' I replied, trying desperately to keep a straight face..
'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.
'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
'That's right.'
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets but stated "I'll also need a duece pack of sauce too...."
Kid just stared at me.
(Unbelievable but sadly true...)
TWO:
I was checking out at the local Walmart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the
belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this
is?'
I Bit my tongue and said to her, 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today. But thank you anyway'
She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened. I thought the poor lady b'hind me was gunna bust a gasket...
THREE
A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was
shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'
FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
"Do you need some help?' I asked.
She replied, 'I knewI should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car.
Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'
'Hmmm, I don't know.
Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.
'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'
PLEASE just lay down
before you hurt yourself !!!
FIVE:
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day
she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.
Brunette, by the way!!
SIX: A mother calls 911
very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......'
Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!'
Don't laugh.....it is all true...
Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70:
01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
04. People call at 9 PM and ask,"did I wake you?"
05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
07. Things you buy now won't wear out.
08. You can eat supper at 4 PM.
09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no
matter who walks into the room.
13. You sing along with elevator music.
14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the
national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because
they can't remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to
manageable size.
19. You can't remember who sent you this list.
20. And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.
Forward this to everyone you can remember right now!
Cat
some advantages to aging:
The older we get.....
ONE
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter.
'You don't?' I replied, trying desperately to keep a straight face..
'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.
'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
'That's right.'
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets but stated "I'll also need a duece pack of sauce too...."
Kid just stared at me.
(Unbelievable but sadly true...)
TWO:
I was checking out at the local Walmart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the
belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this
is?'
I Bit my tongue and said to her, 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today. But thank you anyway'
She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened. I thought the poor lady b'hind me was gunna bust a gasket...
THREE
A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was
shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'
FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
"Do you need some help?' I asked.
She replied, 'I knewI should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car.
Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'
'Hmmm, I don't know.
Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.
'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'
PLEASE just lay down
before you hurt yourself !!!
FIVE:
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day
she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.
Brunette, by the way!!
SIX: A mother calls 911
very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......'
Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!'
Don't laugh.....it is all true...
Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70:
01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
04. People call at 9 PM and ask,"did I wake you?"
05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
07. Things you buy now won't wear out.
08. You can eat supper at 4 PM.
09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no
matter who walks into the room.
13. You sing along with elevator music.
14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the
national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because
they can't remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to
manageable size.
19. You can't remember who sent you this list.
20. And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.
Forward this to everyone you can remember right now!