Mixed Signals

[Raysallover]

So, I'm having some trouble..
There's this girl and I really like her (she's also bi) and since we had a crush on each other before (it didn't work out though), I figured I'd tell her. She then told me she wasn't interested, that was a couple of weeks ago, but since then she's been giving me suuuupermixed signals. Anytime we meet she gives me this "I like you look" and rubs her legs against mine or lays her hand on my thighs under the table. I just asked her out again but she refused again telling me she still wasn't interested and I really don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to be her little pet she can flirt with whenever she wants without her having any relationship with me or anything like that.. but since I really like her it's hard for me to tell her not to touch me if you know what I mean:oh:
Has anybody had this kind of situation? What did you do?
Help please!

[djones]

I think you are being played. Move on - you deserve better treatment and respect. Don't let a fantasy of a relationship keep you on a string like a toy to be played with.

:2cents:

[BooBooKittie]

I agree completely. In the future once you've found some who doesn't bat you around like her little ball of yarn you'll look back and laugh and say "what was i thinking?!"

[tenni]

hmm
If this was a female/male situation..there is a word for that kind of woman :bigrin:......c_ _ k t_ _ _ _ _r

[mikey3000]

hmm
If this was a female/male situation..there is a word for that kind of woman :bigrin:......c_ _ k t_ _ _ _ _r

Um, how about a ..... oh, never mind. You are being played. Forget about her and move on.

[FalconAngel]

I am with the others.

She is being nothing but a tease. You need to move on or she needs to either fish or cut bait and stop playing games.

You can do better than someone like that.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Hon, you dont need to be treated like a fun game....Its fun and exciting for her to have someone that wants her, but she's stringing you along and thats incredibly cruel.
There's someone better waiting in your future, babydoll..:}
Cat

[happygolucky40]

You absolutely don't want anyone in your life like that. You may also find that the less attention you pay to her the more she might start paying to you. Some people only want what they can't have.

[Raysallover]

Wow first of all, thanks for all the response guys (and so quick!)! You really helped me wake up:) I guess you're right, though it still sucks.. I think I kinda allready knew what was going on, but I just didn't wanna know I guess..
I'll try to pay less attention to her :rolleyes:
Thanks again! It's good to hear the truth ;)

Kisses!

[Long Duck Dong]

talk with her.... tell her that you are not sure what she wants... that you find her attractive etc.... and you accept that she is not interested in taking it further... but the way she is making you feel, is confusing you.....

tell her that you are happy to be friends with her....and if she is interested on some level, could she please talk to you about it

[Raysallover]

talk with her.... tell her that you are not sure what she wants... that you find her attractive etc.... and you accept that she is not interested in taking it further... but the way she is making you feel, is confusing you.....

tell her that you are happy to be friends with her....and if she is interested on some level, could she please talk to you about it

Well, I thought about that too, but I don't want to make it any more awkward than it allready is..
When I talked to her after I asked her to have a drink with me yesterday, she told me that she wanted to take more time and see how things go, but I dunno I just can't figure out whether she is stringing me along or she just needs some more time.. I don't want to accuse her of stringing me along obviously but sometimes I just feel like she is..

[NEPHX]

Some people just need, want, crave the attention.

She could be using you to prop up her own self-esteem or social image or even to bait someone else or make them jealous. Observe her actions with others and see if this is her standard M.O. Ask around a bit discreetly.

If/when she does it again and if you don't want to play the game, give her the signal that you don't want her doing "that" stuff anymore or just enjoy the moment and don't "react" to it as she wants that reaction apparently. A little bit of that is cute but if you react by purring when she does it, its probably like catnip to the cat.

If you're really interested in her, stop reacting as others have suggested and let her come to you if she is interested as you have already expressed interest in her and have been brushed off. Ask out someone else even if you're not head over heals for them like for her.... it will likely take your mind off of her pretty quickly.

And. sometimes WE want what we can't have and people feed off of our desires if they know we are interested in them.

On time when visiting Boston for a long-term professional engagement, someone at the local gay bar (I was solo) bought me a drink and he had the bar tender send it over pointing out who sent it (on a very large oval bar and he was on the opposite side). As this is kind of an outdated behavior at least from my experience with men at gay bars or at least on the west coast, it was even more intriguing to me. When I approached him and his "group" to thank him and attempt to strike up a conversation, he suddenly showed no interest. The bar tender and I kind of joked about it later. I couldn't understand it ... why do people behave the way they do.....

[csreef]

I was "involved" with a woman who did the same thing to me. She had no intentions of ever going out with me. What the woman is doing to you is called "Intimacy without commitment".

This woman lacks the emotional/mental strength to have a relationship with you, and you will only get hurt by her. Get away from her NOW .

[Otto55]

I`d just try to get her in a more private atmosphere, at home or somewhere like that, where you could ask her and she needn`t try and do what whatever she`s doing hidden under tables.
She can`t refuse to answer if you ask her directly in descrete surroundings.
If she is just playing you up, she will give herself away.
If it was me, I would ask directly what she meant by her advances and that I don`t wanted to be played with.
You´re not a toy for someone!!! Don`t let her do that to you.
You could maybe keep up a friendship, and just let things go their way.
But if that`s bothering you too much, lay off her.
Hard as it may seem...