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fredtyg
Aug 4, 2009, 3:04 PM
I thought I'd write a bit about dildoes and dongs. Most folks- and a lot of catalogs- call them dildoes, but I call them dongs. I consider a dildo to be something meant to stimulate a clit or anus but one that doesn't resemble a penis. Dongs, are made to look like penises. They come in various sizes, shapes and materials. The ones I like best are the semi- hard rubber. I think that is closest you can get to simulating a nice,hard cock.

I think I'd consider the first one I used to be a dildo. When I was about 20, waaay back in '75ish, I started thinking a lot about anal sex. There wasn't an internet back then and adult toys were few, far between and hard to find. I ended up cutting off the top of a broomstick, 8 or 9 inches of it, and that became my first dildo. I used Vasoline to lube it up. Wasn't all that satisfying and I didn't use it much. Luckily, I found a guy a little later that more than satisfied my appetite for anal sex.

Years later I ordered my next one from a girlie magazine when I was in my mid 20s. I think it was Club magazine and it was advertised as a women's item. It was called The Excruciator, or some such. It was probably 9" long with a shaft that held batteries. Above the shaft, toward the penetrating end was a ball about 2 1/2" wide with bumps all over it. Above that was a projection that went about 3" shaped almost like my little finger. It curved toward the top and when the machine was turned on, the finger- like thing would revolve.

I guess for women that would feel good? Maybe not. The few times I used it, it didn't do much for me. I'd lube it with Vasoline, stick it in me and turn it on and then jack off, but the thing that went into my butt wasn't thick enough to really get me going. My little finger could of done more. I hung on to it for a while but then got nervous someone might find it (despite living by myself at the time) and went to some effort to disguise it and throw it away so no one could connect it to me.

It wasn't until decades later I got real interested in dongs again. I'll give the internet the credit. Not only did it confirm my interest in man to man sex, there was an abundance of adult toy stores. I really wanted to receive anal sex again as I was really into it before but I wondered if, in my mid 40s, my anus would accept a dick. As mentioned elsewhere, I finally decided to check my hole by sticking my finger in it and it went in with difficulty. I was surprised I could poop as well as I could.

I wanted to order one online as there were dozens of good dongs available, but I wouldn't know for sure when it would be delivered and didn't want someone else to get to the package first. I decided to go to the Pleasure Center in downtown Eureka where I wouldn't have to worry about delivery.

They didn't have much of a choice, but I settled on an Anal Carrot and a dong that was meant to fit on the end of a vibrator. I didn't get a vibrator with it. Nice thing about the dong was it was about the size of my dick when I was hard. I also bought a silly little butt plug. I figured that would be nice for sticking up my ass and wearing around the house and elsewhere, really getting my butt and mind used to having something in it.

The Anal Carrot was nice because it was similar to a carrot but skin colored. You could start with the small end and, as your anus relaxed, slowly slide it deeper thus widening it more. But even as I got it in deeper, whenever I tried putting the rubber dong up my ass later, for some reason it still wouldn't go in without feeling uncomfortable.

The butt plug was a waste of time. First; It was maybe as thick as my little finger in the middle but the ends tapered down so not much sensation there. Second; The base of it was about 3" round. I didn't think about it when I bought it but the wide base made it nearly impossible to keep the plug up my ass because my ass cheeks would be against the base and push it out. Since it was soft rubber, I just cut off the sides of the base and left a strip of rubber that could fit in the crack of my ass. Still, the thing was so soft, it was hard to get it in my ass. I threw it away.

I eventually got nervous about someone finding the dong and carrot and threw them in the garbage, too. A waste of a considerable amount of money, such things generally being overpriced, anyway. Especially since I'd end up buying more dongs not too much later.

The Pleasure Center went out of business but another place opened up downtown with adult toys. Still not a great selection, but better than the first place. I ended up buying a 6" rubber dong that looked neat but it turned out the rubber was too soft. I should of known that but they had it in those damned blister packs where you can't feel it until you open the package.

It was really tough getting that in me. I had to hold it right near the tip to get it in my ass so the shaft wouldn't bend. the one neat thing about it was it had a mushroom type head on it that was larger than the shaft. Once you got it in, it would hold pretty well inside you. When you went to remove it was the fun part because the large head would stretch the anus then POP the anus would close. That was neat. Must be what the sensation of those anal beads is like.

I ended up throwing that one away, too, since it wasn't really doing it for me. Would of kept it but why have one more thing around the house to hide?

I finally ended up buying something off the internet some time after that and kind of manipulated the wife into accepting it. In the end that turned out to be a pretty good idea:

We'd nearly stopped having sex altogether some time earlier. Just life, no hostilities. Part of it was my fault as I was slowly getting older and becoming a Viagra type guy. I ended up telling her that it was a shame that she didn't have a nice cock to take care of her and that maybe I should buy her a dong to use for when she got horny and I wasn't "working". I even went online and pretended to do a search for dongs, showing her an online store I'd found earlier.

She didn't seem all that interested, but didn't object. So, I ended up ordering one 6" hard rubber dong that seemed close to my size, along with what turned out to be my favorite: A 10" dong that went from probably over 1 1/2" diamater at the top, to over 2" at the bottom. It also had a base that, while not a suction cup, enabled it to sit upright on the bathroom floor. That made it perfect for me to lower myself down on it.

Of course, I said they were for her, but I planned to use them too and I kind of let her know that. One of the times we were having sex, I did try to see if she wanted to play with the one that was close to my size. She didn't seem to like it. It wasn't long after that I pretty much took over the dongs and told the wife I liked using them.

She's very straight, but she had a whatever attitude about me playing with my dongs and it was nice to be able to walk in to the house and tell her I was going to the bathroom to dong myself and not have to worry about hiding it from her. She even made me a mesh bag, at my request, to hold the dongs in so I could hang them in the shower for storage and they'd be right where they could be used and cleaned.

The shower bag eventually had to go as we were having the house painted and her whole family was all over the house for weeks and I went back to storing them in my bedroom dresser drawer.

At that same time there was the BIG dong I bought and didn't tell the wife about. It was almost a novelty item except it was supposed to have been molded from some porn actor's cock. It was named after him: Dick Rambone. That thing was 16" long, or longer, and probably 3 or more inches wide- almost as big as my forearm. It was a biggie, and I actually had the goal of getting that at least 6" up my ass.

It had a suction cup on the bottom which, I thought when I bought it, would be perfect for mounting the thing on the bathroom floor. Problem was, the rubber was just a bit too soft to hold it straight for how high the dong was. It kept falling to the side so I'd have to grab it toward the top of the shaft to hold it steady while I tried to get it in me. Then, when I'd start putting pressure on the tip from my anus, the bottom of the dong would often bend out.

Quite a struggle with that thing, but fun. Never did get that thing more than what seemed a couple inches up me. It was a hassle to hide, too, as big as it was. I had it hidden out in a box in the back storage room but kept worrying someone, even the wife, might find it. The wife likely wouldn't have said anything, but I'd just as soon she didn't find that one. I thought about just making up a story about buying it as a novelty item and laying around the house in open sight but I decided against it cause I knew the wrong people might see it and know I was queer. It eventually went into the trash. Shame.

I really got good with the other two dongs, though. Could get either of them all the way in me in one point. It felt good. In fact, I told the wife once- and I wasn't making it up- that I think stretching the butt muscles relaxes the whole body. Before I started playing with dongs my body was really tense. Once I got my ass stretched and kept it exercised, it seemed my whole body was more relaxed.

I had a couple slight problems. One I've kept in mind for future purchases:

The six inch dong was only 6 or 7 inches long. That's not enough to get a good hold of the thing, especially when it's lubed up. A number of times I'd have the thing completely inserted in me and try to get it out and couldn't get a good hold of the end of it to pull it out. No problem. I'd use my rectal muscles to push it out but it would often slip right by my hands and end up on the floor. I'd recommend when buying dongs that they be at least 6 inches longer than the length of cock you're looking for. So, that 6" dong should be at least 12" long so you can keep hold of it.

With the 10" dong I was stoked when I could get it in me 4 to 6", but I couldn't seem to go any further. Finally, I was talking to a homo friend on the phone and told him my problem. He said I didn't have it at the right angle. I needed it to angle in the direction of my cock. He was right. Right after that I was mounting it and I tried some different angles and all of the sudden I slid down the dong all the way to the floor. A happy moment.

A quick word about lubrication for those new to dongs: Use cream or gel type lubes for dongs- something that will stick to it. Don't use liquids like Wet or Astroglide. That stuff will run off the dong and all over the floor and really make a mess. Save those lubes for real cocks.

Anyway, believe it or not, after all I've just written, I'm dongless now. Too may people hanging around the house at a certain period of time and I always worried about someone stumbling into them. I almost let someone accidentally see them when I opened my dresser drawer without thinking. That, and I didn't have much time to use them, anyway.

I'm looking to buy a couple new ones again. I suspect when I get them it will be like starting all over again. Then again, I can think of worse things to start over again.

And keep in mind, a dong is really no substitute for the real thing.