Introducing myself (from lesbian to "straight"???)

[andaluz]

Hi, my name is Andaluz.I am a 37 year old bi woman, living between Paris and Casablanca, Morocco.

Perhaps like many of you out there, I have been looking for a "space" where I can express and share myself with others. I am have been bisexual since I was an adolescent, and although most of my longer relationships were with women (thus, I labelled myself a lesbian), I have always found myself drawn towards men. At this point in my life I am nearing the end of a 3 year relationship with a woman; ours has been a very intense, passionate relationship which has had the "counter effect" of also being very consuming, emotionally. There is still great love between us but the pain and difficulties we encountered wore us down.... Anyway, about a year ago I met up again with an old friend whom I had always been attracted to, and we - finally - got involved.
This other relationship has opened a whole, new world for me... I have been involved with men in the past, but I have never felt as "warm" and "protected" and I had felt with D. (He has since withdrawn from the relationship). Today I am wondering if it is possible to find the perfect balance - or rather, what IS the perfect balance??
As much as I love women, I am beginning to think/feel that in the end, I experience a greater sense of stability with men; not sexually, but emotionally.
I have read posts here of married women feeling attracted to other women and wondering how to handle that. I am somewhat in the same, but opposite situation; have any of you been "predominantly gay" and then found harmony in a "straight" relationship??

How did you experience the "shift"? How does/did your new partner react to your bisexuality?

Perhaps you have discussed this issue in other threads. If so, forgive me for bringing it up again. The past few weeks have been a little difficult and I am starting to fear that this is a "dead end" situation...

thank you for listening,
Andaluz

[Apleasureseeker]

Can't help you with particulars, but I will suggest--

Follow your heart, and not labels you wear.

Who you respond to emotionally determines who you are.

Follow your heart.

[meteast chick]

Why label yourself as straight, gay or bi until you yourself are more certain of what you want? It makes sense to me that you would feel that security with men, as I am married and love the feeling of curling up in the arms of my husband, who is taller and larger than I am. I also am somewhat sexually attracted to women, but have not yet acted on it.

Don't base this decision on gender, base it on personality and chemistry. You could meet a woman that you have that security with or a man you are amazingly sexually attracted to. To me it sounds as if you are bi, so why designate yourself as gay or straight unless you are trying to cold-shoulder the opposite group?

Buena suerte

[PeterH]

Hi Andaluz,

it must be confusing for you to first have had such a deep relationship with a woman and feeling so comfortable with a man after that. No wonder that you find it hard to decide what you want next.
I would like to suggest an alternative that I feel is my ideal type of relationship and thought this might be a good place to discuss it. I came up with this idea after accepting that I'm simply not monosexual, and started to look for a lifestyle that would suit me emotionally, physically, and also morally (I'm an old-fashioned kind of guy).
It is my feeling and impression that bisexuals really match best with other bisexuals. They're the only ones who would truely understand another bisexual. To make everybody happy, it would take a family of 4 people (MMFF), all bi. And, reading some of the stories about experiences of bi couples with other bi couples, I think it might be something that could work out in the long run as well.
Does this make sense to anyone? Does anyone know of people who actually live this lifestyle? I'd be very interested in getting feedback.

PeterH