First impressions

[Realist]

Not sure about the ladies, but I know I have always been very superficial, when meeting someone new. The first sight of a person can easily interest me, or turn me off. I'm never rude, or disrespectful to them, but I have often decided things about them, before I actually knew them.

My GF and I were discussing this recently. She does have a flair for first impressions, too, but she's probably kinder in her mind than me, and has a "wait and see" attitude.

Regardless of my first impressions, I can think of more than one incident where I made a 100% turnaround in that opinion, after getting to know a person.

One example happened to me when I was in my early 20s:

One girl, who became one of the nicest, most loving and sensual lovers I ever had, was just one such person. She was not pretty, but older, as tall as me (I'm 6'1") and she didn't even have a pleasing voice. Even her body was less than appealing to me; she had really large breasts, which you'd think would be an asset, but they were very pendulous in her bra-less t-shirt. Her big, round butt was about an ax handle wide, as I've heard said before! (Funny, I actually prefer more voluptuous ladies, these days...and I think she may have helped begin that trend!)

I was "stuck" on a blind date with her, but figured, "What the hell, we'll go out and I will try to be polite, then I'll go home........never to see her again."

Much to my amazement, within 20 minutes, I'd forgotten about her looks and found myself having a great time. She was so bright, funny and very interesting to talk with. Soon, I found that I didn't mind her looks at all...in fact, she looked different, even cute.

The date was an immediate hit with us both and we saw each other for some time. We had an ideal relationship...one of the best, ever!

We enjoyed the same things, thought the same things were funny, or serious, and we were sexually so equal it was scary.

Events beyond our control finally came between us, but I still hold her near and dear to my heart.

Conversely, I have had dates with a couple of very good-looking people, who I quickly learned to dislike about as quickly as I learned to like Pauline!

An example was a very pretty girl, who, on our first date, was extremely nasty to a waitress. I really wanted to get into her pants, but her attitude soured me so badly, that I took her Home early. I don't care who a person is, they don't deserve sarcastic and rude remarks, when they're doing the best they can.

I was wondering if anyone else had an experience akin to this and, if you were as surprised as I was at the outcome? I'd like to read your stories, if you'd care to share them.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Realist-honey, are you sure you werent talking about me? lol All fits except the tallness..

I have seen some gorgeous men who at first glance appeared to be Golden, and watched them go downhill rather quickly. I had a blind date with one such man and at first impression I was thinking Damn, this might turn out to be a rather nice date! Oh boy..was I mistaken. He was vain and arrogant and came Very close to getting himself bopped away from the table! He was very hot Looking, but that's where it ended. He was picky and rude and down right snobby to the wait staff in this resturant. He looked at my boobs and actually said, "How do you stuff all of those things in a single bra?"
Everyone laughed of course, thinking he was only teasing to make me blush. The first time was kinda cute-ish but after that it got old reall quick.
He says "I hope you dont plan of eating alot, I only have a hundred bucks with me. I dont know if I have enough money to fill up those tits with food"
I finally said "It's ok. I have my own Company charge card with me. I'll pay for my own since you obviously need your money for hair gel and what not"

The cuteness turned into slight insults during the course of the meal, and I ignored him the whole time, and spent it talking to the people that I worked with. All he talked about was his money, his clothes, and his material wealth. He got a call and said "Ok I'm outty." He looked at me and said "Damn, and I was hoping for a goodnight mercy kiss so I'd get a chance to get a feel of those tits against my chest"

I looked him in the eye and said "Lets not and say we did. Actually lets not say we did either. I'm rather picky, and so are my tits. Now Todd over here will get a goodnight hug, and so will David. My tits Like them. And its ok. I wasnt intending on giving you a mercy kiss anyway." I said, wrinkling up my nose in distaste.
The girls at the table snickered, and that hurt him worse than anything.
Mr All that, wasn't.

I have met some gorgeous people who turned out to be the Biggest snobs in the world, but found that my first impressions of plain 'ol everyday people was usually always right. But never trust your first impressions..ya might miss that diamond in the rough. ;)

Sharp tongued Cat

[Realist]

Well, Cat, I agree that good looks don't make someone a good person, just as folks who aren't one of the "beautiful People" makes them bad people. I've been lucky enough to have known of some in both categories, from all walks of life, as I'm sure you have. I respect everyone I meet, until they prove they don't deserve it.

The fellow you mentioned was extraordinarily rude and arrogant. I'm surprised you put up with him as long as you did!

No matter how well I knew someone, I would never say those things to them. Respect earns respect and arrogance earns contempt. (That's an ancient saying, that I just made up)

Thanks for responding to my post, Sweet lady.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

[B]Thank you Real-Honey. :}
One the other side of that coin, I met a man recently that I thought would be similar to the one I wrote about. Handsome, successful, had that look to him like he Would be a good looking walking A-hole. Met him when I took my application in to the Veterans Affairs office here where I live. He had on the 3piece suit and tie, black expensive shoes the whole schmeer. He sat and listened to me talk, and looked at my credentuals as his friend asked questions. He had what Julie Roberts in Pretty Woman discribed as that "Bored-Useless" look..lol
When the meeting was over and I stood I saw his eyes shift to the cane and I figured his look meant, "Oh, we dont need another cripple"
(I had heard that before on another interview a few months back...when they thought I couldnt hear them.)
I left and didnt think any more about it. Well three weeks ago I went to a dinner with some friends, and there were some guys playing with the kids in the snow outside. We got dinner all ready and I had just pulled my bread out of the over to the table when the guys came in. There was one Damn handsome man that grinned when my girfriend's hubby came up and playfully bit me on the neck from behind and grabbed a handful of ass as he normally did. I looked up and thought, "Damn that guy with the tossled up hair looks familiar!??"
We started eating and bs'ing and the guy says "Damn Minx, your food is as good as your resume is"
I almost fell out of my chair! It was the bored-useless looking guy, and he looked Totally different out of that suit and tie..lol. He was also my Girlfriend's baby brother..
He turned out to be a Real Sweetheart, not the stuck up snob I at first thought him to be. Too bad he's only 38 years old! lmao I had to do some slick explaining as to Why his sis's hubby was allowed to get a handful of ass, but thats another story....:bigrin:

So see? Dont judge a book by the cover, you could miss a friend, you could miss a lover.." Quote Revenge of the Nerds....lol
Chuckleing Cat[ /B]

[writes at night]

As someone who has been given the "kiss off" based on my appearance, I like to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I am far from a waif, and actually fall into the grouping of BBW and to some, I am too short, too curvy, too soft, and too well, too fat. I have been blessed in finding a man that doesn't just care for me despite my physical stature, but my physical stature makes me appealing to him. He isn't offended by an hour glass figure where the hour is more gone than not. I have never felt more beautiful than in the moments when his eyes are on me.

Now that I have blown enough sunshine up my own skirts, and enjoyed the breeze.... I have to say that I have learned that the shell of a person is not the measure of their beauty. The soul is the true beauty of a person, and I hope that I never lose that point of view. I have loved people that some would see as less than super model beautiful, but at the same time were drop dead gorgeous. Yet there were some that were beautiful that aren’t as sweet and kind as I am drawn to. Also there is the converse in place as well.

I suppose this grand ramble to nowhere suggests that we should look at the person, and allow ourselves to be open to seeing past the shell. There are some amazing people in the world, and if we only look with our eyes, we will miss too many special people in the world.

[innaminka]

First impressions are just that - first impressions.

Okay, I'm married so there is a lot of gazing and not much take-up, but experience has taught me that those first seconds of meeting are important.
Something has to click - hopefully with both.
From that moment on, its other factors: and as far as a real relationship goes, there is a huge amount of work and connection needed.

I often wonder how many "marriages made in heaven" never eventuate because that first impression didn't make it and the couple drifted away.

[_Joe_]

Then theres the strange people who fail the visual first impression, then fail the get-to-know-you second impression, and still get together and say 'fuck you' to the big man upstiars and blow thousands of dollars and skyrocket the company insurance doing in vitro to make two kids and then as a huge practical joke the big man upstairs allows them to make a third kid naturally right before during that 10 years the woman finally lost her dirty secret that she had herpes and gives it to him that starts the chain reaction of divorce.

Ya.

Don't you hate when that happens?

(No not me, but someone I know very well who ignored the laws of first and second impressions and is going through all that)

I mean, now he wants some comfort. How do you comfort someone that you told not only they were bad for you in the start, but all the signs were there that you two never should have even kissed much less fucked and got married and got a house and went on vacations and had babies and did joint tax returns etc etc etc, and you were actually ready to throw a party when you heard there's a divorce finally and then you decide to cancel the strippers after the word Herpes comes up.

YA!

WTF man! WTF?! HOW DO YOU STAY WITH SOMEONE FOR 10 YEARS AND NOT KNOW SHE HAS THAT?!

Oh NOOOOOW that explains odd behavior for the past decade plus! oh yaaaaaa she cant be on the cycle all those days, she just said that to hide it! ohhaaaa yaaaaaaaa! her mom brags all the time she married just to get divorced and take half her husbands company stock! ooohh no wonder she always wanted to see the company books and records!!!!! ohhhhhh she could not get pregnant and supposedly herpes can prevent pregnancy!!!! Ohhhh tahts why you needed invitro!

If you ask me.

There's simply not enough grand pianos falling out of the sky onto people.

Wait, was was this topic again?

Oh ya.

Impressions.

Ya that guy ignored the first 2, so ya Im' still on topic.