Does this happen to anyone else here..or is it just us?

[wonderer]

Hi,
We have been members here for a long time now. So far, we have had no encounters with anyone. We have been polite, patient...whatever it takes, and people just seem to be "playing with us." It is very frustrating...to get down to the, "Ok so let's meet at 7 p.m. at a certain place" and then NOTHING happens. I'm just curious as to how in the world does it ever happen for us!! Does this happen to you guys too? We are beginning to think about just giving up on having another guy join us. WTH is the deal? If I sound angry, I don't mean to, it's just I truly don't get it.
Thanks in advance for any input at all.
Wonderer

[rissababynta]

Ummm, I never ever have luck with meeting women whether I'm on this site or not so, yeah I guess it happens to me.

[Lonewolf76]

I belong to this site and Outpersonals as well. I have only been a member here for a couple of months. I have been a member on Outpersonals for over a year and in that time have only actually connected with two people. One turned out to be a control freak asshole and the other turned out to be my current sweety - so it CAN happen. I even wrote a post on Outpersonals very similar to yours here voicing my frustrations over people never wanting to meet or setting up a meeting and then no-showing. The answers I received were that it is a universal problem on the LGBT society. Many just want the thrill of being wanted by someone else and never intend to meet you. Some go as far as setting up a meeting knowing full well they won't show and getting off that way and some want to meet but are frightened at the last minute because they are married and the spouse doesn't know and they are afraid of getting caught etc. Etc. Etc... The bottom line that I found was PERSEVERE! You have to wade through a LOT of frogs to find your prince. The one I am with now was well worth the wait. I wish the same for you. If you really want it - don't give up and when you least expect it - someone REAL will come through and actually meet you! Hugs! LW

[Mwood]

I just looked at your profile.

You have got to kidding...............you two are getting stood up?!?!?!

UNBELIEVABLE!!:eek:

I can't imagine what the problem is, if you had contacted me,I'd feel like I had just won the lottery!



If you are ever in my area,let me know! ;)

[chick_a_dee]

We have come across this situation many times. It appears that there are alot of people on these sites that only want to live out their fantasies through their computer. They are eager to chat, email, and discuss everything about sex and what they would like to do or have done to themselves. But, when it comes to setting up a meeting, they freeze up, panic, whatever, and then you never hear from them again. Of course there are the few that will actually meet and that will be the last you hear from them. My lady gets very frustated and I just have to remind her to be patient and maybe, just maybe the right one will come along.

[jem_is_bi]

I belong to this site and Outpersonals as well. I have only been a member here for a couple of months. I have been a member on Outpersonals for over a year and in that time have only actually connected with two people. One turned out to be a control freak asshole and the other turned out to be my current sweety - so it CAN happen. I even wrote a post on Outpersonals very similar to yours here voicing my frustrations over people never wanting to meet or setting up a meeting and then no-showing. The answers I received were that it is a universal problem on the LGBT society. Many just want the thrill of being wanted by someone else and never intend to meet you. Some go as far as setting up a meeting knowing full well they won't show and getting off that way and some want to meet but are frightened at the last minute because they are married and the spouse doesn't know and they are afraid of getting caught etc. Etc. Etc... The bottom line that I found was PERSEVERE! You have to wade through a LOT of frogs to find your prince. The one I am with now was well worth the wait. I wish the same for you. If you really want it - don't give up and when you least expect it - someone REAL will come through and actually meet you! Hugs! LW

Your experience is exactly the same as mine. But, eventually, you get want your lookng for, or at least, close to it.

[etncple]

No shows are very common when it comes to meeting people online. As pointed out above, many are just living out fantasies and are too afraid of being "caught" to actually meet. This is as true on here as any swinger site. If it is a "single" male you plan on meeting the number of no shows is even higher. We have found the majority of men listed as single are either married or in a relationship and hide being bi, even if they swing with their wives, and amazingly enough, many hide being bi or curious even when their wife is bi.

There are a some honest, nice people out there, just take your time and don't get discouraged, it takes time usually unless you are looking for just a one night stand.

[alegrias]

Hubby and I have only tried to meet one couple that we found on-line. They've only cancelled on us when they had a legitimate reason to do so and called to give us plenty of warning.

However, while we don't want the whole world to know what we're up to, none of us is cheating on our spouses. (We only play together.) Also, we're taking the time to get to know each other as friends first. We won't have sex until we ALL feel comfortable with it. We don't want for any of us to feel pressured into doing something.

[Realist]

I began looking for a lover in April, last year. I placed an add in Craigslist and a couple of other sites. I met several people, some no-shows and some who did show up were not those with whom I felt attracted to...or, to be honest, I was not attractive to them.

In late August, I met a guy who has become a great friend and lover. Because of some job and family issues he has become depressed and we have not seen each other for some time, now. But we are in contact.

Being older than most folks here, I decided that I'd never meet another woman who would find me interesting and attractive. So, after meeting several women (some of who were aghast at my being bi) I gave up on placing an add for a lady. I was happy to have a male lover, even though I am only incidentally bi. I decided that was the best I could hope for and that wasn't bad at all.

However, In late October, or early November, a bisexual lady, who sometimes posts her thoughts here, began to share her thoughts and desires privately with me.

There is a vast difference in our ages, but she has absolutely no aversion to it. I actually was the one who was the most concerned about our ages. I told her that I didn't expect a relationship to develop from our writing and was delighted to have her as a pen-pal.

Regardless of what I thought were barriers, our connection bloomed and grew into one of the best relationships of my life. If I could have designed a woman, to suit my every intellectual, physical and spiritual need, she is it! We have become lovers and in the length of time we have been together, we have not had one disagreement, or harsh word.

So, anything is possible...even if it's not probable! Keep trying and don't lower your standards, or expectations for what you want. There really is someone for everyone.................if you can only locate them.

Hey, if it worked for me, it could work for anyone!

[wonderer]

Thanks for all the replies you guys. At least now I know it's not just us this is happening to. Was beginning to wonder wth was wrong with us...lol. Guess we just have to be patient. Oh, and I'm catagorizing ANYONE ... just to make that clear.
We met this guy( on here) last week, and he seemed really interested. Then, he says he is busy this weekend...ok fine...I asked when is he not busy, and I get NO answer...at all. Geesh!! Emails stoppped...everything just stopped. We felt like we were "bothering" him. It has happened to us a lot here. Trying to be patient though...lol. Someday it will happen I suppose. :cool:
Again, thanks for replying everyone!

[azirish]

Why would this be a "surprise". The swinging community is well know to be "anti-gay", of course female/female sex is allowed and expected. This is not "gay" to them, you know that old hat. I know a swinging couple who are both bisexual, who had to go the length of creating their own website to connected with bi couples (and singles) of both genders. No-shows account for about 80%-85% of all invites to any "parties" they host. To get back to the original posters concern, this happens to everyone...you almost have a better chance in wining the lottery than being successful via an internet contact. Sad but this is the "real world" most are looking for fantasies they will never achieve.:2cents:


No shows are very common when it comes to meeting people online. As pointed out above, many are just living out fantasies and are too afraid of being "caught" to actually meet. This is as true on here as any swinger site. If it is a "single" male you plan on meeting the number of no shows is even higher. We have found the majority of men listed as single are either married or in a relationship and hide being bi, even if they swing with their wives, and amazingly enough, many hide being bi or curious even when their wife is bi.

There are a some honest, nice people out there, just take your time and don't get discouraged, it takes time usually unless you are looking for just a one night stand.

[her hubby]

Yes it does happen, more often than not, my favorite is when you go expecting to meet a couple only the man shows up, and it's like he forgot all about suppose to be having a wife.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Were you talking about meeting folks from here or just people in general, Hon? I know No-shows are common place and most that will stand you up arent worth the time and effort in the first place. And, many times you'll get some guy who is all hot ta trot about meeting a couple but is playing the Woo-the-cow-to-get-the-calf game. He Says he's bi, but in actuality only wants to play with the wife. Sad, but true.
Keep looking, loves. There's the proper couple for you out there somewhere, and with patiance, you'll find them..or they'll find you. ;)
Good luck!
Cat

[welickit]

There is an easy cure to the problem. First require the other person or couple to go live on cam and you do the same. Doesn't need to be X - rated just prove you are who you say you are and let them do the same. No cam = no meeting. Be serious, you can buy a cam for $20. Second, don't rely on email only. Talk to ALL parties on the phone. No excuses about someone being at work or gone shopping. Either they want it to happen or they are playing.
Anyone can send emails and even pictures they stole off some web site. We have met with others from here and from other sites but the wannabees far out number the real people.:bipride: :2cents:

[shybipinay]

Yes, no shows happen to us all the time. Hence, we are still looking for our first encounter. We met a couple on line here and all was really good for a while. Then, suddenly we were being told our emails weren't getting to them and then they just stopped writing.

I have posted on CL looking for younger men and they are almost all flakes and phonies. What's even worse is the number of guys who can't read. They don't fit what we are looking for but they reply anyway.

In fact, just today, we had to turn down a meeting with a guy because my monthly happened late last night. Yes, it really does happen and is not just an excuse to get out of meeting. Yes, we've had it all, no shows, husband shows up without the wife, guys say they are bi but not, etc etc. It is very difficult for total strangers who are serious about meeting to actually arrange schedules to coincide with each other and make a meet possible.

We believe in perserverance and eventually we are sure we will meet a nice couple or person to help us realize our and their fantasies. We ask for phone numberes and cam as was suggested. This works well in weeding out the fakes and no shows. Watch out on CL as many of the ads are designed to get you to join a dating site and are not a real person at all. Scams do abound.

[Orlando157]

Remain optimistic and remember if you want to catch a fish you need to keep your line in the water .... keeping your hand on your pole is not as important

[AshMash]

personally i think face-to-face is a much better way of meeting ppl. *smile* don't get discouraged... everyone has someone out there. ;) as for getting stood up... when it comes to meeting ppl online, maybe they are shy... or nervous... i would be (speaking from experience).

"Cest la vie! Right?"

[thrip]

Ummm. If I was in Louisiana I would totally be giving you guys a call. Holy f'n hot. If you're ever in Atlanta send me an email.

[Dano111]

I now live in Louisiana, can travel and would love to meet with you. I'm 6'1 weigh 175. Concidered good looking in my younger years and had no complaints lately. Very clean and very conciderate.

[barejerr]

I think we all have suffered from this at one time or another... No matter what we do or say... it just doesn;t work... Everyone, myself inclusive, have specific desires or physical attributes that we are attacted to, also the depth of the relationship we wish to attain. I have found basicly people aren;t honest with themselfs or others they are dealling with..Having been a various networks.. I see the same people on them, who depending on what they are looking for, re-write their profile.. add-in or omit different things etc.

Example: I know of this bi guy, local to tampa bay, who has herpes, depending on which group..network he is in, does admit he does or more importantly doesn;t tell anyone.. I have also seen him at a "pool party" that he was swallowing a gallon of cum and being fucked bareback... though he claimed he is desease free... "Yah think" Point being, you have to be careful now adays. A lot of people miss-lead on purpose or in-directly what their intentions are, some are only loking for cybersex, others are looking for blow and go and some are looking for friends plus "benefits" I think with the advent of the internet, has made most people very specific about who and what they want. And unforunutely rude along the way, "thanks but, no thanks" works well if your not interested. Rather than no reply or just not to show up after you have arranged a meeting.

Now I want to commend Drew for having this board "site" for all of us to converse on... I really don't think this type of media, is a place to find "true" love or a serious friend. I have meet others on aol, yahoo, msn etc. It seems easier there, than a specific intent group.. one would think otherwise, but not in my experience... Though and I am new here.. and still hopeful.... thanks again Drew for a great place, everyone so far has been great !

[BiJoe696]

We have met a few couples , and I have met some couples and singles thru other sites, but never thru this one as of yet. Have chatted with some nice persons. Have been stood up, meeting at a bar at a time and they didn't show, one couple did it to us twice. Should have known the first time but well, you know.
I must say personals or sites can work, have some great meetings.
I actually met my wife well before the internet 22+ years ago via a Swing Mag ad and we have been together 18 years. So, it can work. Just have to keep looking.

Link to our profile on another site is on my profile FYI.

[treemutt]

I sure wish I lived in La. yall would never have a probl. finding me.I live in N.E.Ga. and also have the same probl. I think it's due to just not alot of bi sexual people around this area.I have met up w/ 2 diff. married guys like myself from other sites though.We became good friends & playmates when we can slip away.