_Joe_
Nov 19, 2008, 9:40 AM
Guy who loves Tables (http://www.wtol.com/Global/story.asp?S=8082496)
BELLEVUE -- Police say a man in Bellevue was caught on tape having sex with a picnic table.
Bellevue Police Captain Matt Johnson says Art Price, Jr., 40, was seen on four occasions between the hours of 10:30 a.m. and noon having sex with his picnic table. What makes this a felony, Johnson says, is that it took place in close proximity to a school, which made it likely that children could have seen Price.
The neighbor -- who wishes to remain anonymous -- saw Price walk out onto his deck, stand a round metal table on its side and use the hole for the umbrella to have sex.
You can read it again if you like .. I had to do a double take!
1.) He obviously saw the prices on the small & miniature table sets at the Home Depot, and wasn’t about to pay full price, thought he can go home and make some baby tables.
2.) Speaking of Home Depot, I assume there are some restraining orders in place now ?
3.) If not, does he go there and just stare at all the sets thinking “oh that one is a real slut” “That one there is just begging for it” “oh. My. God. It has a red and white checkerboard cloth, that’s like the catholic school girl outfit!”
4.) His poor wife. If he was caught with a man, she can think “I can’t compete with cock” or another woman “that two timing cheater”. But a TABLE? You know she’s standing naked in the mirror looking at herself thinking she simply can’t compete.
5.) Did he use protection… I mean if it was a metal table, so no splinters like a wooden table. But damn that is some rough friction going on.
6.) What other furniture around the house has holes that probably got fucked that we don’t know about? I looked around my house. Blender (take off the bottom part). Sink Faucets. Doors without doorknobs. Vacuum Cleaner…but cmon, what guy hasn’t looked at a Vacuum cleaner and thought about it..er, so I heard…
Yes I know the serious side. I’m sure this would ruin a marriage, the kids will be totally ashamed as they grow up and find out they almost had a little baby table because their daddy was a table fucker and all (No worse than some people looking at their parents wondering if they almost had a younger little vacuum cleaner)
But all seriousness aside… the guy fucked a table.
Rock. On.
BELLEVUE -- Police say a man in Bellevue was caught on tape having sex with a picnic table.
Bellevue Police Captain Matt Johnson says Art Price, Jr., 40, was seen on four occasions between the hours of 10:30 a.m. and noon having sex with his picnic table. What makes this a felony, Johnson says, is that it took place in close proximity to a school, which made it likely that children could have seen Price.
The neighbor -- who wishes to remain anonymous -- saw Price walk out onto his deck, stand a round metal table on its side and use the hole for the umbrella to have sex.
You can read it again if you like .. I had to do a double take!
1.) He obviously saw the prices on the small & miniature table sets at the Home Depot, and wasn’t about to pay full price, thought he can go home and make some baby tables.
2.) Speaking of Home Depot, I assume there are some restraining orders in place now ?
3.) If not, does he go there and just stare at all the sets thinking “oh that one is a real slut” “That one there is just begging for it” “oh. My. God. It has a red and white checkerboard cloth, that’s like the catholic school girl outfit!”
4.) His poor wife. If he was caught with a man, she can think “I can’t compete with cock” or another woman “that two timing cheater”. But a TABLE? You know she’s standing naked in the mirror looking at herself thinking she simply can’t compete.
5.) Did he use protection… I mean if it was a metal table, so no splinters like a wooden table. But damn that is some rough friction going on.
6.) What other furniture around the house has holes that probably got fucked that we don’t know about? I looked around my house. Blender (take off the bottom part). Sink Faucets. Doors without doorknobs. Vacuum Cleaner…but cmon, what guy hasn’t looked at a Vacuum cleaner and thought about it..er, so I heard…
Yes I know the serious side. I’m sure this would ruin a marriage, the kids will be totally ashamed as they grow up and find out they almost had a little baby table because their daddy was a table fucker and all (No worse than some people looking at their parents wondering if they almost had a younger little vacuum cleaner)
But all seriousness aside… the guy fucked a table.
Rock. On.