How is the first time?

[hardone247]

I was looking for some advise on a first time with a man. I have been married 12 years and have been wanting to try a man for years. I do have a family, is it something I should resist or deal with.

[eddy10]

My recommendation would be to talk to your wife first. Depending on your wife, you might have to approach the subject carefully and a little at a time. Once you clear that hurdle the rest will be easy.

[DiamondDog]

Everyone's first time is different.

If you're married and your wife doesn't know about you, don't cheat on her.

[sdnaustin]

I think you should try it. I'd be honest with your wife though, but if you've been thinking about it for a few years, it's not going away clearly. There is nothign wrong with it, in fact, it is very pleasurable...just go slowly, and enjoy.

[Bluebiyou]

Tough place to be in!
Consider how healthy your wife is. Is she a conformity freak or her own person? As a bisexual I understand that the longer you go w/o one gender, the desire increases.
But, if you want suggestions:
1. just masturbate to your own fantacies. Your wife has absolutely no say in this. Your penis and your feelings. If she wants more nooky, then fine, but she would be totally out of line to tell you "stop".
if that is insufficient,
2. Tell the wife. Perhaps a feeldoe strap-on can take care of your needs. If you do tell the wife, I suggest you first listen to a lot of advise from the wives of bi men on this site.
if that is insufficient,
3. After you've told the wife and you still really really need a man, suggest a three some. Plan a getaway with member of this site! Just you two or you three.
if that doesn't work:
4. Mess around. Get yourself some without the wife knowing. Of course this option is almost certainly doomed. Wife will find out. She will know by looking at you. (option 4 is not a good option for many reasons)
This step will likely lead to 5:
5. Leave. Get a divorce. Your sexuality has become too powerful for you to functionally continue in that marriage. Get custody of children or pay child support. There is nothing immoral about you being a single bisexual parent with children. But a judge in Reading, PA might be a bit more conservative and disagree.

There are very commited/loving couples with 'semi open' marriages on this site. Ask them for advise!
Start a new thread "Need advise from wife of bi man" or "Need advise from open marriage couple".

[jttx3]

To take a different angle on giving you advice on your first with a man, here are some tips.

- Take it naturally, don't do anything that just does not come as things flow.
- Remember, sex is great but a respectful relationship that includes sex is better, don't be so quick to jump in the sack!
- Kissing is great, you will find it more pleasing with a man than a woman if your desires are there.
- Touching is key, on the arm, the shoulder, it relieves tension without diving in.
- Allow yourself to be held
- Be seductive, look him in the eye as you undress him, etc.

Hope this helps!

[the mage]

I was looking for some advise on a first time with a man. I have been married 12 years and have been wanting to try a man for years. I do have a family, is it something I should resist or deal with.



Moral issues are yours to suffer through. Your play may cost you your lifestyle and your wife, but thats your risk to take.

For your first time if you can, find a gay man who likes to make love to virgins. They are out there. Its way better than hooking up with a stranger who is a fetishist. Play safe. Use condoms!!

[Eddie altamonte]

Everyone's first time is different.

If you're married and your wife doesn't know about you, don't cheat on her.

DD you are 100% correct on this one Cheating is starting off on the wrong foot. Well unless you wanna gamble losing your life as you know it to be now. This is about enriching your life not making your existance more difficult