"Bisexuals are worse than gays, dude".

[Enoll]

First off beacuse most of you probably don't remeber, the majority my friends
don't know I'm bi, the only people who know, my girlfriend, afew of my old school buddies who moved away and I only talk to over the net and anyone on the net who questions my sexuality.
So pretty much it's just my family and imediate friends that are out of the loop haha. :tong:

ANYWAY! back to the point.
Much like any group of young guys my friends take delight in cracking
gay jokes and calling each other "fags" at every possible opportunity.
That's pretty much the norm around here in Australia, all the while I'm just sitting around getting uncomfortable.
But last night one of my metal head friends I haven't seen in awhile
made the comment that he hates bisexuals more than gays and that <insert topic title here>. I got confused and asked why he thought the bi's were worse. He pretty much rattled off every stereotype plus blaming us for AIDs.

Now, I'm in no ways a violent person, I think hippies would call me laid back even but I felt like punching him right then and there.

His main reason was beacuse , (from what I remeber), "you'd never know where you stand with them, I mean you couldn't be mates with one, you aren't supposed to think about boneing your mates. You wouldn't want to play football with one beacuse they mght go in for a dick grab or something and then later try and steal your girlfriend".
Just for the record he doesn't have a girlfriend.

Does the whole straight community really hate us more than gay people?
:(

[suegeorge]

Some of them do, some of them don't, I think.

Perhaps those who are really homophobic do hate bi people because we (men particularly) are too much like them so they feel threatened.

Whereas they can write off gay men as entirely different from them, bi men are similar to them... just a tiny bit different. Also, too, they assume that bi men are straight, so they feel "safe", whereas with gay men they never feel that safety. They can write off gay men as being different on some kind of biological level but bi men fancy women - so why would they like men too?

For other men, though, the fact that bi and straight men both have relationships with women is a point of contact.

I remember from your previous posts that you are in an area with lots of homophobes, including some people who are very dear to you. So how are you handling things...?

Bisexuality and beyond (http://suegeorgewrites.blogspot.com)

[Enoll]

I remember from your previous posts that you are in an area with lots of homophobes, including some people who are very dear to you. So how are you handling things...?


It's pretty much the same, I see nearly no point in "comming out" to my family
and imediate circle of friends. I guess it would stop all the jokes and comments that make me uncomfortable though.
Plus I'd just be fun to see how the friend I talked about in this thread would respond. He telle me I'm one of the straightest guys he knows. :rolleyes:

[bitony14]

Sorry to hear about what you had to tolerate. From what you've said and from one bi-guy to another you can see why he hasn't got a girlfriend.

[halfofwhat]

Bisexuality is so much more of a threat because it is the "grey area." Human beings don't like to think in terms of things that aren't black and white. We want everything to be cut and dry and simple to process and comprehend, that's why stereotypes exist. For people to look at every situation differently and process it accordingly is far too much.

suegeorge has it right; bisexuals are a "threat" because to those who perceive them as a threat, they don't know how they will act. Gay guys are obviously less of a threat because their intentions are pretty clear cut: they don't want your girlfriend, and they might want you. Bi guys might want both!

At the end of the day, it's pretty much the case that bisexuals' desires aren't as clear cut as a gay or a straight persons' desires might be, and that's what is so threatening to those who really don't understand. Maybe your friends need to let go of their own insecurities and they won't have so much of a problem.

[twodelta]

At the end of the day, it's pretty much the case that bisexuals' desires aren't as clear cut as a gay or a straight persons' desires might be, and that's what is so threatening to those who really don't understand. Maybe your friends need to let go of their own insecurities and they won't have so much of a problem.

It's all pretty much a mind game. Str8's really don't understand the Bi mindset. People tend to fear what they don't understand. You're still a young pup, ever consider moving to a more liberal area?

[Lorcan]

I sorry to hear about that Enoll. It reminds me of what my mother said when i was a kid when she was discussing gays: "Bisexuals are the worst kind". She never said much on the subject, but it still stings. That was before i told her... and my telling her wasn't very politely handled. But things like that probably contribute to my anger management issues.

you want to have friends. so you can't tell them. because if you did you wouldn't have friends anymore. I know the feeling. I was on the verge of telling my highschool friend once a long time ago, but she said "don't tell me; I don't want to know". So i didn't tell anyone in Highschool. I'm 40 year old now. I think i came out to my highschool friend in college. Basically, i didn't need them anymore, so @#$% them if they didn't want to hang with me.

[citystyleguy]

the best explanation has been stated several times; what someone does not understand or cannot understand, they blame for all sorts of societies ills. then they can demonize this alien concept and its perceived owner, push it "...outside..." of the social norm, where all "...bad..." things reside.

a straight or gay can be understood by catagorizing them into tidy little boxes, the lid closed, and the box filed on shelf where it is thought everything is "...safe..."

"Too often we... enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." ~ John F Kennedy

i cannot say it any better! :cool:

[Doggie_Wood]

It's all pretty much a mind game. Str8's really don't understand the Bi mindset. People tend to fear what they don't understand..............

I agree twodelta - fear of the unknown is a threatening and a mind boggling thing to some :eek: - yet a challange to others who embrace it. :yinyang:

:doggie:

and BTW, just a little :offtopic:

I hope all of you have a very Merry Christmas Season :santa:

[Enoll]

You're still a young pup, ever consider moving to a more liberal area?

Well, my girlfriend is bisexual so she is obviously fine with me and
even finds it cute, though I guessed she's bias heh.
All of her family and friends seem to be very open mined and such.
I also know not all my friends would freak out, just afew of my older
friends and my family :\

[nwbiguy]

Why is it every sexual orientation other than straight is considered predatory? Just because I'm bi doesn't mean I'm gonna go after anyone sexually. My straight friends have "stolen" my girlfriends. I don't hate straight people for that. I think it's close minded and bigoted to consider "other" sexualities as aggressive or unpredictable. We're all human, the same instincts are in us... it's just some of us find the same sex attractive... sometimes. But the method of attaining the sexual satisfaction is the same. You flirt, wait for an invitation and play.

Mind you I'm not "out" at all so I too am afraid of the preceptions and stigmas people will attach to me if they knew.

[Avocado]

All I know is that a section of the straight community hates all queers more than any of us will ever hate each other. Maybe gays would be able to get chummy with some biphobes over a percieved common enemy (us) but then I wouldn't advise a gay to go up to a load of chavs and say "hi, I'm gay and I hate bi's".

[hottrodd]

Dude the guy is dealing with his own issues. Long ago, before I figured my sexuality out, I was constantly talking trash about gays. I was a homophobe.
I knew I wasn't gay because I loved women and I was totally confused. I handled my own issues by constantly talking about Fags, queers, etc. I was so bad that a friend once commented on how I seemed to think about gays too much. His implication was that I might be one. As it turned out he was half right and after working on my attitude for a number of years I finally came to realize that I was bisexual.

You shouldn't let your mate worry you. Just ignore him and don't hit on him. Sooner or later he'll probably hit on you. By the way. I have NEVER had an urge to have sex with a straight guy. I don't really understand but this Gaydar thing seems to be real. When I'm around my straight friends I never think of them in any sexual way. Let a gay or bi guy walk in the room and I pick up on it like a dog on a ham bone.

[izzfan]

You see, there are some people who are biphobic without realising it... eg; they blindly follow stereotypes without realising. A few days ago some people who I am usually friends with were a bit like that, I said nothing at the time as I thought it was said jokingly or at least not 100% seriously [ Stuff like 'its a fashion statement' etc... I'm sure I mentioned this in a post a couple of days ago] . This evening (technically yesterday evening) they started it again [btw they all know that I am Bi] and I [being in a slightly bad mood at the time] basically told them that they were being rather biphobic and they hadn't even heard the term 'biphobic' before and they seemed to find it hilarious....sort of saying "Oh...we're biphobic apparently" and just generally not taking it seriously. Then they started saying that I was 'sitting on the fence' (They might have said this b4 I told them that they were biphobic... I think that was what prompted me to call them biphobic) then they started telling me that I was gay rather than bisexual, claiming that just because I find the opposite sex attractive "doesn't make me bi" :disgust: ... Ok, so I would be very reluctant to sleep with a woman but on the other hand, my attractions aren't exclusively towards the same sex and when people say to me "Oh, you're gay rather than bisexual".... I'm thinking "F--k you! I know my own sexuality better than you ever will do! :mad: ". Does anyone else ever find it annoying when people are biphobic like that and insist on "working out" whether you are gay or straight... Its a shame that this particular group of people are so biphobic as they are usually very nice people.

Izzfan :flag3: :flag1:

[twodelta]

Does anyone else ever find it annoying when people are biphobic like that and insist on "working out" whether you are gay or straight... Its a shame that this particular group of people are so biphobic as they are usually very nice people.

Izzfan :flag3: :flag1:

Gay/lesbians do not understand our desire for the opposite sex. Str8s don't understand our desire for the same sex. People often fear what they don't understand. It sucks, but that's just human nature - Dave

[Avocado]

You see, there are some people who are biphobic without realising it... eg; they blindly follow stereotypes without realising. A few days ago some people who I am usually friends with were a bit like that, I said nothing at the time as I thought it was said jokingly or at least not 100% seriously [ Stuff like 'its a fashion statement' etc... I'm sure I mentioned this in a post a couple of days ago] . This evening (technically yesterday evening) they started it again [btw they all know that I am Bi] and I [being in a slightly bad mood at the time] basically told them that they were being rather biphobic and they hadn't even heard the term 'biphobic' before and they seemed to find it hilarious....sort of saying "Oh...we're biphobic apparently" and just generally not taking it seriously. Then they started saying that I was 'sitting on the fence' (They might have said this b4 I told them that they were biphobic... I think that was what prompted me to call them biphobic) then they started telling me that I was gay rather than bisexual, claiming that just because I find the opposite sex attractive "doesn't make me bi" :disgust: ... Ok, so I would be very reluctant to sleep with a woman but on the other hand, my attractions aren't exclusively towards the same sex and when people say to me "Oh, you're gay rather than bisexual".... I'm thinking "F--k you! I know my own sexuality better than you ever will do! :mad: ". Does anyone else ever find it annoying when people are biphobic like that and insist on "working out" whether you are gay or straight... Its a shame that this particular group of people are so biphobic as they are usually very nice people.

Izzfan :flag3: :flag1:

The next time they say it's a fashion statement say to them "I'll tell you what mate, go up to a group of chavs on a council estate and tell them you're bi and see what happens". I say council estate because people often use them for drug dealing etc, and is not a comment on the people who actually live there. I'd say gay is more of a fasion statement anyway.

[CHOCOLATECITY32]

after reading some of the posts here i gotta agree with dogwood b/c straight ppl see bisexuals as a threat plus a lot of women i have met find it very attractive in a sexual way especially .i also believe that every bisexual man or women don't have sexx with many partners except for the ones they have been playing with since the beginning.plus F.Y.I aids came from a man haveing sexx with either a infected animal or a actual human i don't feel being bisexual is a bad position after all plus i see us bisexuals just like plain gay ppl and the ppl in the gay community excepts us for who we r not for what we represents.enoll i also wanna send my condolents 2 u b/c ppl can be cruel at times for no reason i have been around ppl that joke about gay ppl and i believe that no matter how they became gay .what actually matters that gay's ppl have always made me feel comfortable than being around regular ppl .i had a near experience where i had told a favorite cousin that i was bisexual and the next minute my brother had knew like days after i had told her it was suppose to be a secret between us but i could careless what they think b/c i am happy b/c of what i represent and i am sincerly chocolate city 32