Bad Places

[innaminka]

Last Sunday evening, my 2 siblings, my partner and I got together for one of the increasingly irregular *********** family barbecues. It used to be wives, husbands and children having loads of fun, too much to eat, a few drinks and home to bed in time for school the next day.
Things change: firstly all the kids have gone. (Who as a 19-27 year old wants to listen to their (getting old) parents rattle on?) Secondly my husband has gone and been replaced by a woman, which left the two surviving men watching the T20 on telly and us four women anchored to a seemingly endless flood of Sav Blanc on the deck.
So naturally, after the catty family gossip was exhausted we started talking about sex. No personal details – my older sister is a bit prudish.
Anyway, we started talking about bad places to have sex – both physically and psychologically. Auswitsch I think was the worst, your parent’s or child’s bed (eeew) in public, in a VW beetle, airline toilet, in weightless space and so on.
My question is, for the good burghers on this site, has anyone had sex in a really bad place – physically or psychologically??

My horrid experience was on the beach.
A swain (pre marriage) thought it would be so romantic to emulate the movies and “make passionate, natural love” (aka shag) on the beach at Wilson’s Prom.
So we did! ON THE SAND!!!! With NO towel underneath. It was missionary!!! :eek2:
Suffice to say a large bottom, a moderately excited vagina (both mine) a goodly shot of semen (his) and sand are a toxic mix!!!
I was wiping sand from both orifices for what seemed days – he got sand scratches on his Willie and my panties are still buried somewhere on that beach.
NEVER, NEVER, NEVER shag on beach. Wait till you’re in a tent at least!

[darkeyes]

yep.. a shag on a sandy beach is 'bout as bad as it gets.... lessen one considers a shag on the rocks tearing one's back 2 shreds and ruining the dress on the assembled crustaceans as one slides off into the rock pool.... and standie-uppie in the shelter at Silverknowes beach in February when the wind roars str8 from the Arctic.....

Some of the worst sex is 2 b had at seaside.... but so is summa the best if one uses one's napper cos we aren't teens an' stupid all of our lives...:tongue:

[zigzig]

Me & my hubby while dating had sex in his car a few times. Half of those times it was really uncomfortable. Not so much space in the car back seat.

[Realist]

OMG! Stories abound!

A friend in high school experienced the same sandy problems you did, Innaminka! The guy she was with missed the mark, picking up grit in his exuberance, and ended any pleasure they'd have for some time, afterwards! Those parts are not meant for abrasives!

Does anyone know what a Renault 4CV is? ZigZig's adventures in their car, reminded me of being with a chubby girl in the back seat of her Renault. (How do you get REN-OH, out of Renault?) With me being 6'2" and with her chubby, but very cute self, we needed to butter ourselves to get into position! She seemed to fare well, but I had sore joints and back for some time afterwards.

However, the very worst was when a FWB's grandmother caught us on her living room couch. Thinking the old lady would be unable to catch us, because she was wheelchair-bound and in bed, we got naked and became deeply involved in oral exercises. The old bat, somehow got herself into her wheelchair, after hearing odd noises from her living room. She then rolled quietly right up to the couch, just as I was about to complete my mission!

She proceeded to beat us both with her cane, screaming at the top of her voice, the whole time! Do you have any idea how difficult it is to finish an orgasm under those circumstances?

Thankfully, after an hour or so of some intense moral indoctrination, she calmed down and let us go. I was terrified for some time that she'd tell our parents, but apparently she kept it to herself!

I did learn a HUGE lesson from that experience, though!

[Gearbox]

She proceeded to beat us both with her cane, screaming at the top of her voice, the whole time! Do you have any idea how difficult it is to finish an orgasm under those circumstances?
Yet many would burst their seams in rapturous orgasm watching a vid of it I betcha!:tongue: Who here wouldn't like to test that theory out?lol

Worse place I've had sex in is in my little hallway with a bloke tied to my attic hatch by the wrists. Him being about 6" taller than me didn't help much, and getting him down quick as pos before his hands needed medical attention wasn't much of a turn on either.:oh:
Got to think these things through BEFORE you go at it.lol

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

LOl I hear ya about the sand! My first male lover and I have my first "Good" sexual encounter out on a sand barge in the middle of a river in Ark. Talk about graphite in the vaseline! (Just an expression) lol

2nd bad place was trying to fuck underneath an old canvas tarp at the drive in, and not show anything..lol it was funny and awkward and a bit thrilling because people Knew what you were doing, but couldnt see anything except for the tarp moving all about. lol
Cat, laughing.

[DuckiesDarling]

I think one of the most "memorable" times in the basement at my grandma's house. My ex husband and I were fooling around before marriage and kinda bumped a table which SCREEEEEEEEEECHED across the floor. She had that kind of not quite linoeleum not quite vinyl covering on the floor so it was rather loud like nails on a chalkboard. We both froze and looked at each other and it was like "Do you think she heard that?"

[jsdominant]

MMF in a girlfriend's mother's bed. The girlfriend was not present, the mother was. It was not my finest moment, however, seemed like a good idea at the time.
Another one from the "Wish I cold forget that one" list was in the back of a bar in Napoli. Though I enjoy a good show, the scene was a bit too public.
Places I find in bad taste: in the head next to the urinals, adult book stores, and in any alley near dumpster.

[Realist]

Gear, thanks to you, I dreamed of ancient Welch torture chambers, last night!

Cat, I would expect nothing less from "The Randy Indian Princess of the North"!

Ducky's, Your post ruined my vision of a untarnished and delicate Kentucky Flower!

[csreef]

Once I was making love with a GF on the floor of her living room. Down the hall was the bedroom of her son who was home from college (Wrestling Scholarship ) and he openly "didn't like me". Had we woken him up, I would not be putting up this post today.

[void()]

Still a bit embarrassed over it to this day. It was over fifteen years
ago. Wife and I before married could not resist. We got going at one
another like bunnies in heat.

About midway through our business, my mom, who was in the bed up and
beside us woke. We were in her hotel room on the floor beside her bed.
She got up and swung round to the other side of the bed upon seeing us,
went to potty, come back to bed.

While she was in the potty we made quick like in getting appropriate
garments back on. About a week later the then fiance asked about that
night. I told her it didn't seem anything to fret over. After all if you
can't do something in front of your own mother, it's got to be something
horrid.

And that was not half as bad as bursting a bed while in the midst of
sex. Then, mom knocking on the bedroom door asking if everything was
okay. Or, as bad as breaking a dresser in much the same manner, then
fibbing about it later. "No mom, no idea why the top looks warped. Maybe
it just drew humidity?"

Drat, telling on myself now. *chuckles*

[Drunk Uncle]

Years ago...this sweet woman and I were jumping each other like bunnies.

Had a lot of car sex which wasn't really all that bad but was cramped.

One night, we were parked in a parking garage on the top level and we started going at it. I wanted to take her from behind and so we got out of the car, she lifted up her dress and then got on her hands and knees right there on the asphalt. I got down on my knees, pulled up to her sweet bumper (I can still see her now) and got after it.

We were both younger and the sex we had back then was very physical and quite animated.

Once we were done we both realized our knees were bleeding - which neither one of us seemed to notice in the moment - and the palms of her hands were red and sore. :oh:

We also looked up and realized that there were four cameras mounted on the light pole. :tongue:

Drunk Uncle

[Highlandtown]

Wow, where to begin...

Getting blown in the backseat at night driving home from a wedding while her parents were upfront. Hard to contain that 'o'clock.
Being 'probed' in a tent at a campground not realizing the shadow the light was casting against said tent.

After banging my gf in my bedrooom and hearing the toilet flush. Afterwords, she goes and helps my mom in the kitchen and I sit next to my dad watching TV. After some awkward silence, he simply says, "What double you DO to her?"

I'll try to remember some more ;-)

[magari]

Nice thread! I was at a college party with a girl, when she said she propositioned me. We headed out the back door and found a patio lounge chair on the guest house porch. we were well into it when someone came out and spotted us, screamed and ran back inside, telling the world what was happening. We decided to take it to my place and finish, but had to walk back through the house...giggling all the way.

[easyman67]

MMF in a girlfriend's mother's bed. The girlfriend was not present, the mother was. It was not my finest moment, however, seemed like a good idea at the time.
Another one from the "Wish I cold forget that one" list was in the back of a bar in Napoli. Though I enjoy a good show, the scene was a bit too public.
Places I find in bad taste: in the head next to the urinals, adult book stores, and in any alley near dumpster.

was that by any chance The Rose bar in Napoli? I hope it wasn't a campfire girl

[darkeyes]

Seems cammin' on Yahoo is pretty bad place depending onya point of view wiv GCHQ the NSA an God knos who else having luffly view of peeps antics on line..ALL sorts of antics, not just natterring to ya mum bout wot a shit ur bruvva is an such like... hope they r having fun the dirty buggas... bad lessen of course yas an exhibitionist an dont mind the security services viewing ya arse n other bits. The pervs...

[Plumhead2]

Getting blown under the table (she was under the table, me sitting on the chari) at a Chinese restaurant. I was scared shitless that I would be discovered and thrown in jail and my life would be over. Luckily, the gf was very talented and got me off just before the waiter returned with our food.

[Waylon]

My best friend in high school and I had a double date with 2 girls from a nearby town and the only car we could get was his older brother's 1964 VW bug. After the movie, we went to the local parking place at the time.. We both got laid that night, he and his date in the front, me and my date in the back. Talked about tight spaces, I think it only worked because the 2 girls new each other well.

Years later in college, dropping of my girlfriend at her parents apartment, it was late and they were in bed sound asleep. We went to the living room where I sat in what she called "the blowjob chair" and was on her knees giving me head. Sure enough, her Mom got up to go to the kitchen, walked right by us on the way in and on the way back, glanced casually but fortunately never said a word. She gave me a special grin next time we all got together.

[elian]

My horrid experience was on the beach.


I have a certain philosophy about the beach, I really enjoy it until I get sand up my ass - after that it's time to go..

[Hypersexual11]

as 16 yr olds, my future wife and I were tired of fucking in the car all the time. It was a beautiful day so we went into the field. The grass was pretty tall so we were hidden. We were still trying to get comfortable and in a groove when I felt something ice cold on my butthole. I froze assuming the farmer was pissed about fucking in his field and had a shotgun in a very vulnerable place. Just the damn dog. btw, this was in Montana and I had many a gun pointed at me so I didnt feel it was an illogical assumption.