Help... Summer fling or the beginning of something?

[Laidbackdudeixi]

I have been thinking about writing this for a few days but haven't really been able to sit down and collect my thoughts. I don't know if I need advice or just to get this out on "paper" and get some thoughts on it.

I am a 31 year old male, "closeted" bi guy. Artistic type.

So I work in a highly public arena and recently had a 4 mo layover in a midwestern town. Befriended a number of people in the time I was there, most significantly a 23 year old guy who, just before I left town, confessed to having had a longterm crush on me.

Literally hadn't said more than 10 words to me in at a time in the interactions we'd had.

Well, I'd of course noticed him the first time I saw him and hadn't thought there was a snowball's chance in hell of anything actually happening...
Well, after he made his confession, I thanked him and was in the process of sending him on his way (what the fuck was I thinking?) when I finally decided... HEY, this doesn't happen every day.

Well, I invited him to my place. We spent the night making out, cuddling, blowing each other.

The following day I was so taken by the whole situation I couldn't bring myself to depart as planned so I delayed my flight.

We spent the evening walking around town doing things I could not have imagined us doing.
He took me to a riverside barge where we watched the moonrise, held my hand, told me about his longstanding attraction to me...
We ended up back at his place, where he served me food, we listened to music in his apartment, lots more making out and oral... slept in his cramped "Urban Outfitters" styled loft apt.

Well, we woke up, spent the morning entangled in bed... kissing... Until I finally had to take off. 2 nights together and I hate to say it but I'm smitten.
Absolutely smitten with this kid. It makes no sense. We swapped address info, had a pretty long phone conversation that resulted in us both saying a bit much too soon about the connection we felt, but here I am a week after the fact and I just dont know what to do.

We live different lives, in different places. I'm 7 yrs his senior, but keeping thinking if he had enough of a crush to tell me he was interested and we had those two nights together, there could be hope for more...?

The rational side of me says it was a fling. Let it go. The irrational side bought the kid a birthday present (an anthology of poetry) and is mailing it to him tomorrow.Why do I feel like an idiot?

[Gearbox]

We're all Fools in this life whether we accept it or not. That moment when you decided to delay your flight, you accepted your place as explorer/Fool here, and damn good job too IMO! What a waste of a life that 'You' on the plane would be.
Due to your decision, you have experienced something that resonates with you in a very nice way. You felt good to be you etc.:bowdown:

What your doing there lovely man, is living/loving without a safety net. There never is one, but it's more obvious in your situation. Can be scary if you let it, but also truly liberating too.
Ideally(IMO) you'll go ahead and keep contact without an iota of fear, and with the basic honesty that it's because YOU want to. Nobody can tell you what you want, so keep listening to yourself and stop worrying about foolishness. It's a necessity some times.;)

[DuckiesDarling]

Hi,

I don't think you are an idiot to take a chance. Even if it doesn't work out you owe it to yourself to see where it goes. Keep the communication going and know that a long distance romance is something that can work out, it just takes a bit more work than the driving across town each night. Good luck and let us know how it goes, you got me intrigued and wishing you the best.

[tenni]

If it feels good at the moment, go for it. I was in a five year long distance relationship(not that far away though). We saw each other every weekend or most. After it ended sexually, we remained very close in some ways for more than twenty years. Some people connect and even after separating can re connect at some level almost forever.

[Laidbackdudeixi]

I guess my fear is that I allowed myself to do something I normally would have been far too principled to do. Not that I'm so much of a stick in the mud that a one night stand would be out of the question... (I've had my share). I guess the setting of our meeting gave the whole event a dreamy feeling. I've worked with this company four years and 3 of the last 4 this guy has seen me around, seen me work and interacted with me in a limited capacity. His confiding his interest in me REALLY took me aback. Especially having no idea how I would react. Our two nights together didn't have that animalistic fuck and flee energy at all... It was the opposite, which is why I'm even thinking about this further.

I thank everyone for the feedback thus far. I guess I would extend my inquiry by asking HOW, if this were YOUR situation, would you proceed if you wanted to keep the connect even at a great distance? We both know a relationship at this stage is impractical, but I'd ideally love not to lose the connection I felt was established in such a brief time. Trust me, the cynic in me is laughing and pointing derisively at the naivete of what I'm asking here, but the softer part of me feels like putty in this (super smart, sensitive, incredibly gorgeous) 24 year old's hands. I'm still scratching my head, wondering when the logic will drop back into my brain!

[BiDaveDtown]

Just call it a summer fling and move on. He's someone who you work with, you said how you're closeted, and it's never good to "shit where you eat". You're in NYC if you can't get laid there or find someone to have sex with who you're compatible with something's wrong.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

See where the winds blow you, Dearheart. Nothing ventured, nothing gained..:} Good luck.
Cat

[Laidbackdudeixi]

Nothing ventured, nothing gained... I'm trying to keep that in the forefront of my mind. I guess it's always the logical thing to try to save face and your heart from getting trashed, so putting yourself out there with the real possibility of getting fucked over by doing so is always the challenge. I'm curious about other posters' experiences with starting new relationships when both parties are bi. I also know each of us has our own bi configuration. Some more sexually driven to one gender and often emotionally to the other... etc.