Emotional Masochist
Jan 23, 2012, 5:18 AM
So a couple weeks ago i came out to my best friends mother. I told her i was bi and she was shocked as hell.:) super nice about it but i guess after knowing me for the last 12 years its kind of a shock to her. hehe but she is awesome always has been. and her boyfriend is super cool about it too. the funny thing is. i am starting to wonder about some of the things she is thinking about now. all the random compromising situations she has found me in.(one morning i jumped down from his old bunk bed in nothing but my boxers and she heard the noise and looked in to see me standing there and her son completely passed out on the bottom bunk also in nothing but his briefs:) great picture hehehe) any ways it was funny because she used to call us lost souls who found each other because we used to be on the phone with each other and it used to bug the hell out of him. heh so anyways after i told her nothing has changed .. well im a little more open about my interest in men, but it wasn't like i hid it before. hehe just so weird sometimes how your fears can be a little exaggerated. I have always worried about things changing when i came out to people. That they would react weird or they would look at me differently. they treated me the same.:eek: was so surprised and happy hehehe. but i am starting to wonder if they think something is going on between me and my best friend. and it probably doesn't help when he is a dumass and makes me sleep with him.. k that sounds alot better than reality. we just slept in the same bed. hehee was really funny because his mom's boyfriend told me that there were three other rooms with beds and sheets and pillows. but i still ended up sleeping in his room. :rolleyes:hehehe and there was no way they didn know since his bedroom is in the basement and all the other ones are upstairs and well they woke up long before us:tong:
so any ways this leads to another thought hehe i've been running the whole parent situation through my head it never struck me how weird last night was. now its not the first time we slept in the same bed or anything, but this was weird... um well he is weird sometimes. like i don't understand what he does or why he does them. its not like he wants me sexually or anything. i think he just doesn't like being alone or something. its weird. right after his mom's boyfriend tells me about the other rooms and i start heading upstairs he ask me to come down with him for a sec. and basically tells me to get in bed and goes to sleep. was kind of nice sleeping near him. i still don't understand him or myself, but i don't think it matters. its almost confusing in its complexity. thus i simpplify and just let things go as they wish. he is straight by the way and yes he is also the same guy i complained about before. (sorrry if i am losing my train of thought i am being distracted by the body of the hot guy on tv ;) god he is fine and he has such beautiful eyes) any ways i am just confused. its weird isn't it. this sort of behaviour. this sort of friendship. at the moment it is platonic. at the moment nothing matters. he is my shelter from the struggles i face at home.i spend alot of my time with him right now and well just i can't help thinking about it.
people often confuse me. i can't comprehend them. can't understand them. can't see past reality. can't see the reasons behind why they do what they do.
so any ways this leads to another thought hehe i've been running the whole parent situation through my head it never struck me how weird last night was. now its not the first time we slept in the same bed or anything, but this was weird... um well he is weird sometimes. like i don't understand what he does or why he does them. its not like he wants me sexually or anything. i think he just doesn't like being alone or something. its weird. right after his mom's boyfriend tells me about the other rooms and i start heading upstairs he ask me to come down with him for a sec. and basically tells me to get in bed and goes to sleep. was kind of nice sleeping near him. i still don't understand him or myself, but i don't think it matters. its almost confusing in its complexity. thus i simpplify and just let things go as they wish. he is straight by the way and yes he is also the same guy i complained about before. (sorrry if i am losing my train of thought i am being distracted by the body of the hot guy on tv ;) god he is fine and he has such beautiful eyes) any ways i am just confused. its weird isn't it. this sort of behaviour. this sort of friendship. at the moment it is platonic. at the moment nothing matters. he is my shelter from the struggles i face at home.i spend alot of my time with him right now and well just i can't help thinking about it.
people often confuse me. i can't comprehend them. can't understand them. can't see past reality. can't see the reasons behind why they do what they do.