Wife/bi or bicurious

[joepat]

A fews years ago I walked in on my wife masterbating to all bi porn FFM. When she saw me she jumped up and yelled she's not bi. She was horny and was just playing with herself. Last night I got out of bed and saw her wathcing bi porn on the computer. Not letting her know I went back to bed. Now I have seen the way she checks out other woman in public. A couple of times when her friend was over she would walk from room to room rite in front of her with me in the same room. When I asked she just says shes my friend why hide anything. How do I tell her I know she's bi or bicurious without wrecking our marriage of 25yrs and I'm ok with it. Just don't do anything behand my back. Its a turn on for me and I would be happy just watching or more. Please help me. How should I handle this?

joepat

[lost1]

Maybe try talking to her, tell her u noticed a few things, n if she has those kind of feelings, towards the same sex, u will support her,in any way u can....

[lizard-lix]

and keep telling her that you love her and want her to be happy and want to be happy together with her..

I think often the bi spouse fears rejection, I certainly did...

[Bi-ten]

Hi,

I know a lot of bi or gay Women personally, and the idea of you 'watching or more' may be great for you, but maybe the last thing she has on her mind. If you want to support her, give her some freedom to explore on her own and keep the channels of communication open.

Finally, just because she likes bi porn does not make her bi.

Just an opinion.

[Reprob8]

Im bi, my wife is straight. She wants to watch/participate and that is the last thing I want. Just because I am bi does not mean I want cake and ice cream at the same time, sorry, just the way it is for me.

Also, I am concerned for you in that if she is not ready then it isn't worth forcing the issue. It sounds like something that she is struggling with and you can only complicate matters by pressing too hard.

You need to ask yourself what you are OK with. Are you OK with her looking and watching bi porn on occasion? If so then it isn't an issue for now.

I would not press the issue unless you think there is a trust/fidelity issue.

I have had relationships/experiences outside of my marriage, I let her know for the simple reason is she has a choice to make about health issues and a right to know.

The health risks for men who have sex with men can be higher than all other groups if we don't follow the rules. On the other hand women who have sex with women are far less likely to be exposed (but should also follow the safer sex rules).

I know I bounced around a bit but I wanted to give you some things to think about.

[Darkside2009]

A fews years ago I walked in on my wife masterbating to all bi porn FFM. When she saw me she jumped up and yelled she's not bi. She was horny and was just playing with herself. Last night I got out of bed and saw her wathcing bi porn on the computer. Not letting her know I went back to bed. Now I have seen the way she checks out other woman in public. A couple of times when her friend was over she would walk from room to room rite in front of her with me in the same room. When I asked she just says shes my friend why hide anything. How do I tell her I know she's bi or bicurious without wrecking our marriage of 25yrs and I'm ok with it. Just don't do anything behand my back. Its a turn on for me and I would be happy just watching or more. Please help me. How should I handle this?

joepat

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Are we to assume she was naked in front of her friend whilst she walked from room to room? It doesn't seem to make a lot of sense otherwise. Has it always been the same friend she did this in front of?

[DuckiesDarling]

Okay as a hetero female... I have watched gay porn, bi porn, lesbian porn, other types of porn. Some turned me on not because of the subject matter but the energy in the performers. Doesn't make me bi or bi curious, just means I liked the porn. All women check out other women, hon, it's a thing we do to see how we measure up or to look at the great shoes or try to figure out if that outfit would look as great on us. It's just something we do. Doesn't mean she's bi, frankly I think you are hoping she is for your own personal desires. Just explore what you have, watch the porn together. If there is anything for her to share with you, that might actually let her know your okay more than "hey that would great, threesome" Just :2cents:

[sammie19]

I don't think the porn issue is necessarily what you think it is. Lots of us watch porn of various different kinds and straight people arent any diffferent. Her reaction to being caught watching it on computer and playing may be an indication but that isnt concrete proof.

Many girls and women prance about naked in front of their friends or at least their closest friends. I know of at least one woman who does it quite happily whether her husband is around or not. She isn't bi but her hubbie is pretty liberated guy with no real hang ups. I know several gay women who do it too when their partner and friends are about. It isn't that uncommon. I do it myself sometimes when my partner and closest friends are around but being women we don't see it as a big issue and not connected with our sexuality.

Looking at other women can be an indicator but not always. Women look and eye up other women for other reasons than they fancy them often out of envy, sometimes out of pity, because of their dress sense or hairdo. Sometimes because being human, we like beautiful things.

It is possible they are indicators of her bisexuality, but it is equally possible that they are not. Only she knows for sure and if you are concerned about it you have to get her to talk but by persisting in trying to get her to talk, she could misunderstand and think that you are trying to turn her and get her to believe she is something she is not.

Joe, you actually know nothing, but you do suspect and you may be right. But I wouldnt take it as given and I'd take it easy.

[welickit]

Its a turn on for me and I would be happy just watching or more. Please help me. How should I handle this?


You screwed yourself with that statement. It should be obvious from her reaction that she isn't ready to include you. You are entering territory that isn't yours to invade. If and when she feels comfortable including you then and only then will you know it. Give her some space and respect.

You have been a member here one day. Take the time to read posts from members who are unsure and mixed up. Your wife may well fit in that group. Or you could just be honest and tell her about this site and see if she is interested in joining. Plant the seed for thought so to speak.:bipride:

[Darkside2009]

I don't think the porn issue is necessarily what you think it is. Lots of us watch porn of various different kinds and straight people arent any diffferent. Her reaction to being caught watching it on computer and playing may be an indication but that isnt concrete proof.

Many girls and women prance about naked in front of their friends or at least their closest friends. I know of at least one woman who does it quite happily whether her husband is around or not. She isn't bi but her hubbie is pretty liberated guy with no real hang ups. I know several gay women who do it too when their partner and friends are about. It isn't that uncommon. I do it myself sometimes when my partner and closest friends are around but being women we don't see it as a big issue and not connected with our sexuality.

Looking at other women can be an indicator but not always. Women look and eye up other women for other reasons than they fancy them often out of envy, sometimes out of pity, because of their dress sense or hairdo. Sometimes because being human, we like beautiful things.

It is possible they are indicators of her bisexuality, but it is equally possible that they are not. Only she knows for sure and if you are concerned about it you have to get her to talk but by persisting in trying to get her to talk, she could misunderstand and think that you are trying to turn her and get her to believe she is something she is not.

Joe, you actually know nothing, but you do suspect and you may be right. But I wouldnt take it as given and I'd take it easy.

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Wouldn't you just like to be the guy that reads the electricity meter in Sammie's house?

''Carry on ladies, don't mind me I'll only be a min...half an hour" :bigrin:

"Any of you ladies got a pen on you?":rolleyes:

[goldenfinger]

Most people don't consider FFM BI PORN.But if you have a lady who masturbate and watch any porn, consider yourself a very lucy man.Don't screw it up...Pun intented.