Am I Bi?

[bimaleslave1988]

Hi,
I am very new to this and very curious, but I dont really know if I am bi or what? I do love looking at cocks, balls and cum, I have sucked cocks swallowed and been filled by them. I am not sure though about males. I don't find them very attractive I dont know if I could kiss one. I do find shemales very hot they make me very hot and wild. I am cnofused and not sure what to call me.

My other problem is I am maried and would like to tell my wife but she has said thinsg befre about not liking gay people and I do love her so dont want her to leave me so I dont know if I should be honest with her?

Thank you everyone for your help

[Jobelorocks]

Well let me start off saying that I think each person has a right to choose how they identify their sexuality. Only you know what attractions you have and that's that. I personally, from what you say, would consider you bi, just a bisexual who is less attracted to males than females. I personally am sexually attracted to both genders, but I have no emotional/romantic attraction to females. Bisexual just means you are attracted to both, and it can be in different ways and to different degrees, heck it can even fluctuate in your life.

Now I also think that people have the right to come out or stay in the closet...they should be able to come out to who they want, when they want. I don't want to pressure you either way to tell your wife or not. You have to weigh the pros and cons of both decisions and decide if it is worth it. I find though, coming out to my husband was very freeing, but then again, he is very supportive.

I would suggest though, that you do not do anything behind your wife's back. Not only is it deceitful (not to mention harmful to your marriage and your wife's self esteem, ect.) , but it is also the worst way for your wife to find out about your sexuality. The results would be much more positive if you are open and honest about your sexuality as opposed to her finding out you are cheating on her with a man.

[Realist]

First of all, Welcome to the site.

You came to the right place to get others' views. But, in the end, you're gonna have to decide what's best for you and your wife.

As one who cheated and lied to my 2nd wife, for years, I can tell you that, if you're like me, your conscience can eat you alive.

It may not bother you at all, but my infidelity really got to me.

We ended up getting divorced, for a myriad of reasons, but I promised myself I'd never cheat again. And, I haven't.

Whatever you decide, I hope it works out for the best.........for you both.

[elian]

This is all my opinion - I still have some growing to do and I am a single male so take it with grains of salt.

You say that your wife has made disparaging remarks about gay people before. A truly homosexual person feels no attraction for the opposite sex. If you are romantically or sexually attracted to your wife and other females then you are not gay.

I would like to think a lot of people who make derogatory comments about gay people would feel differently if they knew one personally, I don't know if it is true or not. I guess it depends on the person making the comments.

What I have heard other people say on here is that your partner needs reassurance that you love HER, you come home to HER and that you aren't going anywhere..if that is what you feel.

Of course only you know your wife..there are other couples on the site that would be much more qualified to speak than my sorry single butt.

[bimaleslave1988]

Thanks for the help everyone I appreciate this very much. I think for me its probably best not to tell her as like I said I am pretty sure she would leave me if I did and I do love her very much. Maybe later she will open up more and maybe say somethign that will lead me to belive she would be ok with it.

[fredtyg]

I would like to think a lot of people who make derogatory comments about gay people would feel differently if they knew one personally, I don't know if it is true or not. I guess it depends on the person making the comments.


My experience, albeit limited, has shown this to be mostly true.

I had a friend who would often join in with the anti- homo remarks of another friend. Once I outed myself to him he stopped with the anti- homo stuff and actually became quite "friendly" with of my homosexuality.

[tenni]

bimaleslave1988
If you see your wife as homophobic with her comments, how do you plan on dealing with this? If you are not comfortable completely outing yourself to her, you may want to consider countering her biphobic/homophobic comments. It would not be coming out to her but showing her that you do not share her view. This may get her to wondering or begin to open her mind a bit. Just something casual or even stating that "I don't think that way myself."

If you remain silent and repressed, it will eventually eat away at you. It will more than not impact your relationship with your wife anyway. Go slowly with your comments and don't expand upon it at first even if she pushes you to. Eventually, though you may find the courage or need to disclose your curiousity to her. Good fortune with your process.

[fredtyg]

bimaleslave1988
If you remain silent and repressed, it will eventually eat away at you.

And it will be much harder to bring up the subject later when it really has started eating away at you.

[fredtyg]

I'll have to admit looking at bimale's profile (http://main.bisexual.com/forum/member.php?u=131960) leaves me a bit confused. The "second person" is transgendered, among other things? She doesn't sound like someone who would be hostile to gays to me.

[edmann35]

Well let me start off saying that I think each person has a right to choose how they identify their sexuality. Only you know what attractions you have and that's that. I personally, from what you say, would consider you bi, just a bisexual who is less attracted to males than females. I personally am sexually attracted to both genders, but I have no emotional/romantic attraction to females. Bisexual just means you are attracted to both, and it can be in different ways and to different degrees, heck it can even fluctuate in your life.

Now I also think that people have the right to come out or stay in the closet...they should be able to come out to who they want, when they want. I don't want to pressure you either way to tell your wife or not. You have to weigh the pros and cons of both decisions and decide if it is worth it. I find though, coming out to my husband was very freeing, but then again, he is very supportive.

I would suggest though, that you do not do anything behind your wife's back. Not only is it deceitful (not to mention harmful to your marriage and your wife's self esteem, ect.) , but it is also the worst way for your wife to find out about your sexuality. The results would be much more positive if you are open and honest about your sexuality as opposed to her finding out you are cheating on her with a man.

indeed:flag4:

[bimaleslave1988]

For my profile I am guessing I read it wrong, I thought that was for people we have been with for both the 1st and 2nd. I am guessing that is wrong its ment to be me and my wife?

You are right about the comments next time I will say something

[elian]

For my profile I am guessing I read it wrong, I thought that was for people we have been with for both the 1st and 2nd. I am guessing that is wrong its ment to be me and my wife?

You are right about the comments next time I will say something

I think it's "significant other" you could say "wife" but if the other partner happens to be male they might take offense.