I miss her

[Emotional Masochist]

I miss her...... She hasn't been gone long and yet I miss her. I don't know what I am doing anymore and it is sort of ridiculous how broken I am inside. I guess I should tell you what happened. My girlfriend left me and now I am broken hearted. The worst part is it is completely my fault. I don't feel I have the right to complain, but I regret letting it happen. She became such a huge part of my life and I am going insane losing her.

We were going through a rough patch where we were trying to hold together even after my stupid mouth had screwed everything up. She was on the verge of leaving, but was working on trying to stay with me. She loved me so much, but I had said some stupid things about my ex which hurt her deeply. But she was working to get around them. It was a hard moment, but she was getting back to me slowly. And then it all fell apart.

It was my birthday and so I had invited a bunch of my friends over and we got completely drunk. Had some scotch, lots of beer and some vodka. It was great. So ended up really drunk and these guys decide that it would be a great idea to take me to a strip bar and get me a lap dance. Me being the retard that I was went along with it. Then being the honest boyfriend that I am I texted her bout it. That would have been bad enough to piss her off, but being completely drunk my typos made it seem like I was bragging to her about it and she flipped out when she woke up. And that was it she just can't let it go.

Now I am alone and I am..... I miss her. She is amazing and so supportive. She deserves so much better than me, but I don't want to let her go..... I don't want her to leave, but that is no longer in my hands. I love her but I can't be with her and its driving me insane........

[Long Duck Dong]

ahhh your birthday and your partner was not with you ??????

I am quessing there is a good reason why, such as work or other things..... cos if ya relationship is on shakey ground, the last thing you wanna do is exlude ya partner from ya birthay....

that aside, broken hearts hurt..... and i sympathise with that

[bisexual Bill]

She got mad when you got drunk with friends and went to a strip club for your birthday. None of this is a big deal and it may suck now but you'll be better off without her in the long run. It's not good to let one person control you or your emotions that way like she did.

It sounds like she was going to leave you again but was just looking for an excuse to break up with you. If it had not been getting drunk with friends and going to a strip club on your birthday it would have been something else.

You got dumped. Just learn from it and move on. Find someone else who is not as uptight as your current ex is.

[DuckiesDarling]

Hon, it honestly sounds like this was just the straw that broke the camel's back. It hurts, but in this case you have to let her find her own way. There is a lot of history and hurts between you two that have to be dealt with before you both move on. Give her a bit of time then see if she contacts you.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Dont know what to tell ya Darlin, exept that ya fucked up, and its up to you if you want to try and salvage the relationship.
Good luck and happy late birthday
Cat

[Emotional Masochist]

I really loved her and no she wasn't uptight or anything. Its just we were already in the middle of a tough time and i just added to it. Yes there is a lot of baggage and I want to fix it, but she just can't let me in. The only saving grace i have right now is i got her to talk to me again for a few days.... She is having issues walking away, but i really hurt her. Umm also she was welcome to be there but we are sort of a secret couple for the simple reason that her mom dislikes me and my mom would kill me for dating her best friends daughter :rolleyes: and since I was throwing my party at my house it would have kind of destroyed our secrecy. Anyways i also screwed up her surprise vist on my actual birthday by scheduling work. Normally i take the day off every year but since i was already forced to work with my parents at night I gave in and scheduled work....lets just say she wasn't happy. hehe But well she forced her mom to come see my family the day after the party and well she was really pissed. Like ahhhh i fucked up.i just needed somewhere... I don't know how to get her back. Right now i miss her like crazy. I want her back.... but as it stands the chances of that happening are very slim. That is what is killing me cause i could wait for her to get over it. But i am afraid she might find someone else. Like she was ................ so perfect and i fucked it all up.......:( so rite now i just sit back and wait hoping and praying for a miracle to bring her back to me.........

I am afraid of pushing for it too soon cause i am afraid of pushing her even further away. But if i wait too long someone else will take her away....